Let’s focus on the issues:
Oprah just caught three sexual predators who had eluded the authorities for years. It took her a couple of days.
Oprah found a place outside of Chicago that was so poor they had no running water, no garbage service and the people were living in filth amongst rodents. The problem? They didn’t have their own zip code so they didn’t get these services. She brought attention to it so the state government would too.
Hello? She’s CEO of a huge enterprise and is one of the richest people in the country. I think she knows how to help us make money.
The War in Iraq:
Oprah is so persuasive I bet she could talk some sense into those insurgents.
She got all of Hollywood to come help her with Katrina recovery and is building all kinds of houses.
She just did a show with Leonardo DiCaprio about the evils of global warming. I now unplug my cell phone charger when I’m not using it. Thanks, Oprah.
Come on, it’s not all about the bad stuff. She’ll have to entertain too. Did you see her segment on holiday parties with the pomegranate martinis? They’re sweeping the nation.
A Supportive First Lady:
Steadman would make a terrific first lady—always keeping quiet but helping where necessary.
A Brilliant Cabinet:
She’d have all the best people around her: Gayle, Dr. Phil, Nate the decorator, Bob the trainer, Rachael Ray for parties and Kirstie Alley for, uh, dancing?
If Oprah were president I think I would actually tune in for the state of the union address. Word to the wise: turn it on about ten minutes into it after all the clapping, cheering and crying has calmed down.
I don’t think we’ll be quite ready in 2008 but let’s start encouraging Oprah for 2012. We can all get these bumper stickers that say “O, the President.” Sure, it’ll be a big salary reduction for her and the living conditions probably aren’t up to her standards. But I think Oprah will be able to get past all that and help this country come together. And if nothing else good comes out of it, at least we might all get free cars.