Sadly, I was not the homecoming queen of my high school. Nor was I even in the running. And I thought popularity contests were over the day I entered the work force. Wrong. I found that out on my first day working at an advertising agency.
In advertising everybody is young, fun and has suspiciously expensive designer clothes on sub 30K salaries. So when I met my new team of attractive 20-somethings and they told me that the day before they had all gone to lunch and drank margaritas, I thought, "Yep. I knew I chose the right career."
That was before I realized that they didn't like me. My clues? On the first day one of my co-workers, Jill, declined to go to my "welcome" lunch, claiming she had brought her own yogurt. At first I blamed a nasty eating disorder but then I decided she just must not like me. Then for the next few days they would sneak off to lunch together and not invite me. And, of course, there was the whispering in the cubes that was surely about me.
But one day someone told me that Jill (skinny yogurt girl) said, "Elsa is so funny. I just love having her around." So people DID like me. And Jill DID have an eating disorder after all! Hurray. It was weird--as soon as I convinced myself that people liked me, I started acting more like myself--which, I have to say, is quite likable. Slowly I started feeling more comfortable around my other co-workers and was even invited to go to lunch with them (where we never did have margaritas).
So I learned a couple of things:
1. I was probably imagining all of this hatred towards me.
2. If you think people like you, you have more confidence and can truly be yourself.
I applied this knowledge at my next two advertising agency jobs. I'd start the first day with a Sally Field-like mantra, "They like me. They really like me!" And sure enough, they did. I mean, they don't give out crowns at offices but I'm sure I'd at least be in the running.
And it's not just because of my newfound confidence trick. There are other secrets to office popularity:
When you work in an office, you usually need things from your co-workers: paperwork, reports, presentations...In advertising I mainly needed artwork from creatives. And those guys are tough. So if I asked for a layout every time I went into an art director's office, he/she would surely start to think of me as that annoying girl who always needed something. So you gotta alternate it: Sometimes you just talk to them about their kids, sometimes about their brilliant talent and believe it or not, sometimes you should even talk about yourself. People like it when they feel like you're letting them in on your personal life.
And when in doubt, bring breakfast burritos.
Take it from me, a girl who's climbed the ladder of office popularity. Thanks to my confidence, office social skills and surprise snacks, I've had elaborate birthday cube decorations, more cakes than I can count, one over the top wedding shower and a freakin' video in my honor when I left my last job. Oh, and I've made a lot of friends.
And those 20-somethings from my first job? They're mostly 30-somethings now and I count some of them as my very best friends--I was even in two of their weddings. One day I confided to one of my best friends and former co-workers Alicia about my paranoia when I first started working there--how I foolishly thought everybody didn't like me. Instead of telling me I was crazy, Alicia said, "Oh, that's true. We didn't like you at first."
WHAT? Sure they didn't. And Jill didn't have an eating disorder.
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