Sometimes I'll think, "I wonder what's going on with so and so" and I'm tempted to check Facebook but then I think, "Do I really care? Do I really need to keep up with so many people? It's exhausting." And sometimes I'll think, "It's my amazing child's birthday; I should post about it" and then I think, "Why do I need to post about that? I know it's his birthday. He knows it's his birthday. He doesn't even have a Facebook account. And honestly, he's really not all that amazing. I'm not sure I even love him to the moon and back."
This is what life off the grid looks like:
When I'm in line at the grocery store, I read the magazines instead of my phone. I had missed "Stars they're just like Us!"
If someone's bully, bratty kid wins an award for something like kindness, I don't have to be totally annoyed because I don't know about it.
When I hold the plank (I'm up to 3 minutes, 20 seconds! Come on, I have nowhere else to brag about these things now!!) I don't look at social media anymore. I look at Zillow.
I used to look at social media before going to sleep which would inevitably cause me to have strange dreams about random people from high school. Now I just have strange dreams about people I see in real life.
Not only do I not really know what's going on with anyone else, but nobody knows what's going on with me. I'm like a woman of mystery. Did she go on a trip? There are no pictures. Does she work out? She didn't check in at the gym. Does she eat? There are no food pictures. Does she pack her kids' lunches? There are no boastful bento box pics. Does she have political views? She has no rants. And boy, would I like to know when it is her amazing kid's birthday!!
It's kind of like being in the witness protection program. Except I keep the same name and look. And I'm really not in danger. Actually I am probably in less danger because people don't know when I am out of town.
And since I'm not posting pics (except every now and then on my acquaintance Insta), I'll put a few of my precious children here and it's not even their birthdays!