Coughing, for instance: I think coughing is the most irritating sound. I think I also hate its' inconsistency. Someone may cough and then cough again in 30 seconds. They may cough four times in a row and then not again for another four minutes. It may go loud cough, hacking cough, no cough, little cough, back to hacking cough. Ugh, pick a cough and stick with it! There's not even a response to coughing like "bless you" for sneezing. (Sneezing is way better than coughing, by the way).
But it's not cool to complain about coughing. Why? Because it's not their fault. They don't mean to cough. I myself have been known to cough. Sometimes people cough because they're sick. Who complains about sick people? Me. I do. All I know is that when someone coughs, I want to yell, "Shut up!" But I can't because that would be crazy.
Here's one similar to coughing (in that it's a bodily function that comes from the mouth): Baby Spit-up. I have a big chip on my shoulder about spit-up. When I complain about my children spitting up, people often say, "Oh, it's no big deal."
To these people I think but don't say: You're right. It's not as big a deal as kids starving to death in Africa. But it's a huge pain. I change Gus' clothes about four times a day. I change my own clothes at least twice. I'm constantly wiping up floors, chairs and the shoulders of friends who come over. I bring four bibs, six burp cloths and spare onesies everywhere I go. When I put Gus down to sleep, he often spits up which not only disrupts his sleep but then I have to change a sheet, change his clothes, change his swaddle blanket. Once he spit up all over the church pew and left a pool, a pool I tell you, of spit up. Forget about tummy time unless I want the poor kid to be face down in a puddle of regurgitated milk.
But I can't say any of that. It would sound like I'm not grateful for my healthy baby or that I think it's his fault. So spit-up, just like coughing, is annoying but taboo for venting.
My last complaint: the rain. This one's a little different. I don't have a problem with the rain itself but more of a beef with this cliche exchange:
Me: "Ugh, it's raining."
Some unoriginal person: "What? Are you going to melt?"
No, the rain doesn't make you melt. It doesn't hurt you in any way to get wet from the rain. However, it's annoying, right? I mean, nobody likes to go outside in the pouring rain unless they're in a music video. Who likes to get soaking wet after they've gotten dressed and flat-ironed their hair? If people liked getting wet in the rain then the umbrella companies sure wouldn't sell a lot of product. So rain, while necessary, is not totally convenient (but clearly, not okay to complain about).
And if you have a complaint about this blog, go get your own blog and complain about it!