Eavesdropping Weight

I used to think people only needed personal trainers for motivation: “I have to go to the gym. I have to meet my trainer.” And I guess the main motivation was the $50 per hour fee. But now I know that trainers also give a lot of good tips on what to do and what not to do.

How do I know? Well because I, myself, utilize a personal trainer. What’s his name? I dunno. How much does it cost? Nothing. Instead of actually hiring a personal trainer, I just listen in while they’re training other people.

It started about three years ago when I was trying to get in shape for my wedding (now there’s motivation). I was at the gym and I was just flailing about on one of those giant stability balls. I had no idea what to do with it. Right next to me a trainer was helping another bride-to-be. He showed her exactly how to sit on the ball and how she should do her sit-ups slowly. I flailed a littler closer to them and listened. Now it’s my fave ab exercise.

EXPERTS PLAY BALL
If you listen to enough personal trainers, you’ll realize that the key to getting good abs is to use some sort of ball—either that stability ball (not for flailing) or the medicine ball. The personal trainer will have the bride-to-be or divorcee or new mom do crunches on an incline and when she comes up, throw the ball to him and he throws it back. This looks like it works really well. However, when I throw the ball, nobody’s there. It just falls on the floor. And I’m not sure that’s such a great ab workout. But, hey, I just saved $50.


THE PROS LOVE LUNGING
If you go to any gym you’ll see a personal trainer walking backwards while one or two members lunge towards him. This goes on for at least an hour. They lunge and they lunge and then they lunge some more. So I’m thinking lunging is really crucial. Sometimes they hold weights while they lunge. But that’s probably like $60. If you want, you can lunge right behind them. That’s what I do. When they say, “Hey, you’re not paying for this session,” I just say, “What? A girl can’t lunge around her own gym? I love to lunge. It’s good for the hamstringus maximus, right?”


TRAINERS TAKE IT SLOW
Overall, they seem to want you to do exercises a lot slower. Now, this could be so that they can tack on another half-hour to their fee but I gotta say, this seems to be working. I just learned this from an eavesdropping session I had the other day. Let’s say you’re on the “Yes/No” thigh machines. You know the ones. So not only should you push slowly when the weight is on but you should also push slowly when you’re pushing away from the weight. Another example: If you’re lifting weights, you naturally lift them up slowly but you should also bring them down slowly. How do I know this is a great PT tip?

It hurts. It hurts a lot.

I’ve got tons more tips but that’s all I’m gonna share with you for now. Otherwise I’ll have to charge you $50 per hour. If you want to try this yourself, just join a gym and be sure to ask if the trainers have loud voices.

That reminds me, I have to go to the gym now. I have to meet my trainer.