Jessica the Genius

That Jessica Simpson—she’s not so dumb. In fact, I think she’s smarter than me, Writinggal. And you all know I was the spelling bee champ of Landolt Elementary.

From the first time I heard her say, “Is this chicken or tuna?” I was intrigued. I have been buying Chicken of the Sea tuna for years and never even thought about why it was called this. So when Jessica asked the question, I perked up. Her trusty husband Nick explained the name and she came off looking stupid while I silently was just as puzzled. The difference is she’s actually curious. I had never even stopped to ponder it. Score on the smart meter? Jessica-1, Writinggal-0. Oh, and I guess Nick gets two points for actually knowing the reason for the name.

And Buffalo Wings? I guess if someone had asked me what they were made from I would have guessed buffalo too. Yes, I know they don’t have wings but chickens don’t exactly fly south for the winter either. I mean, why can’t we eat buffalo? We eat everything else. Why just last weekend our friends Courtney and John caught a giant shark and are now making preparations to eat it. I’ve never seen shark on a menu but I have seen buffalo. But again, I never even wondered why it was called that. I just accept things. But not Jessica. She proudly says, “I don’t eat buffalo.”

I’ve decided that if I want to be as bright as Jess I need to be more curious about things, ask more questions. So last night when we were watching the baseball game I asked Frank, “Why are they called the White Sox? What kind of mascot is a pair of socks? And even stranger that TWO teams adopted this mascot but with different colored socks. Hey, why are there no Blue Sox? That would be a good team name.” He didn’t know. But he did know that Houston had “No Socks” day in which nobody could wear socks. He’s no Nick Lachey but he does have access to interesting trivia.

In fact, I think Nick, Jessica, Frank and I should engage in a game of trivial pursuit. But I want Jess on my team. I'll take spelling and she can take everything else. Except history. Or science and nature. Or art and literature.

Better yet, maybe we'll just have them over for a nice shark dinner.