No Baths on Fridays

A few years ago I was doing the weekend visit thing at the parent’s house and I stumbled upon something strange whilst looking for a photo album. On the shelf in the hall closet was some graffiti—some kid graffiti. There, written in green crayon, were the words “No Baths on Fridays!”

What? Was this some sort of message from beyond? Or scarier, a little kid ghost?

Then it all came back to me:

When I was a kid at Landolt Elementary school I really liked Fridays. But not for obvious reasons. I remember sitting at my desk in Mrs. Melton’s 2nd grade class, feeling really anxious about the last bell ringing. What would happen after Ms. Gravy Train picked us up from school?Well natch, we would go to Wendy's(where I wouldn't eat pickles or pudding),go home and watch The Dukes of Hazzard and then…no bath!

I hated taking baths. I’m not sure why but I don’t think I was the only kid. Anyone know why we hated them so much? I mean, I remember I had pretty cool bath toys like “the little people” and some kind of mermaids that lived on lily pads. Sometimes there were even bubbles. What’s not to like?

But I bitched and moaned so much that my parents decided six days a week was plenty. And thus the rule—no baths on Fridays! I have to wonder, on Saturday was I that stinky kid who hadn’t taken a bath since Thursday night?

I do remember bath time always being an ordeal. I would turn on the water myself and then forget about it. My mom would say, “Elsa, are you watching your water?” Ugh. And then once I would get in the bath I never wanted to get out. That I understand—it’s too cold! “Elsa, isn’t it time for you to get out of the tub and go to bed?” But I had all those cool little people in there. And they floated! So I bitched and moaned some more.

But Friday nights we had none of that. I was as dirty as those Duke boys I watched on TV. Nobody had to remind me to watch my water, nobody had to make sure I got out of the bath tub.

Hmmm…maybe it was my parents who got hold of a green crayon and enthusiastically vandalized the bookshelf with the message “No Baths on Fridays!” Yep. That's the only explanation.

P.S. I do bathe on Fridays now. Well, most of the time--if I don't stay out too late at Wendy's.