Why Nicole Richie's Daddy Rocks

“Say You. Say Me.” What more can I say? Nicole Richie’s daddy rocks.

The first time I realized his rockiness was in 4th grade. My elementary school choir performed a rousing rendition of his hit, “Dancing on the Ceiling.” We clapped, we swayed, I think I might have even yelled out a “Sing it, sistah!” Or maybe that wasn’t me.

Sure, he rocked long before that with the Commodores (She’s a Brick…House. You MUST pause appropriately between those words. Another pet peeve. Another blog.) And then there was the recognition he received from his “Endless Love” duet with Diana Ross (Mariah Carey and Luther Vandross tried to cover it in ’94 but they didn’t quite have the sexual chemistry of Ross and Richie.)

My faves? Well I must divide them into categories. I’ll also note some sample lyrics but this time I’m not going to consult a lyrics website. This is all from memory, baby. Ambitious? Maybe. Lazy? Definitely.

Best Party Song: All Night Long
“Kobonista say you say, Oh, jumbo jumbo.” He speaks many languages!

Best Love Song: Stuck on You
“Needin’ a friend? Cause the way I’m feeling now I guess I’ll be with you till the end. Guess I’m on my way. I’m mighty glad you stayed.”

Best Chill Song: Easy Like Sunday Morning
“Cause I’m Eeee-asy. Easy Like Sunday Morning…” A girl couldn’t have pulled this off.

Best Semi-Perv song: Ballerina Girl
“Ballerina Girl, you are so lovely. Every day and night, you know it’s right…don’t you ever go away.”

In fact, Nicole Richie’s daddy has so many songs, there’s bound to be a few I don’t like. So I’ll briefly mention them—“Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?” Creepy. Then there’s “Three Times a Lady” which I know is a classic but I gotta say, I would probably change the station before he even got to “twice.”

But hey, this blog isn’t titled “Why Nicole Richie’s Daddy doesn’t Rock” so let’s just focus on the good things: He’s successful, I wouldn’t change the station for about 83% of his songs and he never seems to age. That means if you run into him he’ll want to party all night long. You'll probably end up dancing on the ceiling. But no matter how excited you get, don't yell out, "Sing it, Nicole Richie's Daddy!"