From Writinggal to Cookinggal

I used to be the worst kind of cook—the kind who was so bad I didn’t even know I couldn’t cook. Very dangerous. So for Frank’s birthday in 2000 I thought I’d attempt to make him lasagna. You see, the bad cook who knows she can’t cook would never attempt such a dish.

My friend Ayn (who is a really good cook, no denial here) gave me a recipe. It was really long. But the blind bad cook doesn’t get intimidated. How hard can it be? Before I headed out to the store I read over the recipe. The first line of instructions immediately threw me off. It said, “Brown Meat.” I thought to myself, “Well I know the meat is brown but what do I do with it?” I immediately called Ayn and yes, I asked her this very same question. She was patient and explained that, in this case, brown was a verb. She tried to explain the process but I got all frazzled and frustrated and decided to take Frank out to dinner instead.

That’s when I became a bad cook who knew I was a bad cook. This lead me to not cook anything for the next four years. Sure, I heated up, I thawed, I stirred. But no cooking. Frank is a decent cook so every now and then he showed me a few things—how to season shrimp for our fajitas, how to cook things on the George Foreman grill, how to make spaghetti. I kinda liked it. Frank even taught me how to brown meat. He told me, “If you can brown meat, you can make anything!”

Then Christmastime 2004 we were at the home of Frank’s Aunt Marilyn. Need I say more? She convinced me that I could make meatloaf. She showed me the recipe and talked me through it. I actually understood! I called my mom and told her my plan. She was excited too and even bought me a meatloaf pan for Christmas! So now I couldn’t disappoint. I had to do it.

And I did! I made it on Fat Tuesday, the night before I gave up meat for Lent:





Then my mom gave me a recipe for Chicken Divan. I know, it sounds fancy! And it kind of is—it’s got curry in it! And guess what? I made it and Frank loved it. And that meatloaf pan came in handy again:



Next I decided to tackle baking. Frank’s Nana in Pittsburgh makes these wonderful cookies/bars called Scotcharoos. Frank thought his Nana invented them but it turns out there are recipes all over the Internet. So I made those for him:






Okay, they don’t look as good as Nana’s but my second batch did. And they tasted awesome. But now I know why we gain 12 pounds every time we go to Pittsburgh.


So now that I’m working at home, I’ve sort of become obsessed with cooking. I look at the Kraft website each week and make some kind of dish. And when people send me recipes—I make them! Oh, and that thing I used to call the “queso maker?” It’s actually a crock pot and I’ve cooked like crazy in it.

Last week I cooked Spinach Enchiladas. They were awesome! And the best part? I sent the recipe to my mom and she made them! Now I’m the one sending people recipes! But I had a lot of ricotta cheese left over and didn’t know what to do with it.

That’s when I did something unprecedented (by me at least). I invented a recipe! I mean, that’s something only people like Ayn or Aunt Marilyn or Nana do. (Oh, somebody, please make sure Nana hears about this!) I call it “Elsa’s Rockin’ Ricotta Shrimp Surprise.”




Must thank Trusty Thea for helping me find the ricotta cheese at the store in the first place (via the phone. I call both her and my mom a lot while looking for ingredients) and for telling me how long to bake it. Frank suggested covering it with Monterrey Jack cheese (which I’m going to do more of next time).

If you want the recipe, let me know. I may even start a Cookinggal blog to share all my newfound knowledge. But beware, some of the recipes may be complicated. They may require you to brown meat.