Search This Blog

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Tollway Wavers

Yesterday as I drove through a toll plaza I almost knocked over a woman standing in front of the booth, waving. Since I managed to miss her, I went ahead and waved back. Then I glanced down the row of about twelve booths and they were all waving! It was like the Rockettes but instead of kicking they were waving. And instead of being tall and gorgeous they were short and frumpy.

And it's not like they just stepped out of their booths to wave; there were people in the booths too! So who were these wacky wavers? I have some theories:

  • One of the other toll plazas was closed for construction and the toll company needed something to do with these extra people for the day.
  • The toll company heard that Wal-Mart had greeters and thought they should try it out too.
  • They're Fear Factor contestants. I think I'd rather eat a bug.
  • The toll company is laughing at us: "You pay us so much to drive on these roads we can hire people to just stand there and wave!"
  • They're prisoners--the last one who doesn't get hit by the end of the day gets an extra 10 minutes of recreational time. And macaroni.
  • They're toll booth workers in training and they're getting hazed.
  • Beauty pageant contestants? Yikes. Have ya seen these wavers?
  • Conversation at toll company management:

Toll Pres: We've been getting a lot of emails that our toll booth workers are just not friendly enough.

Toll Associate: We could send them all off to a customer-relations boot camp in Lake Tahoe. I think all associates should attend. It's for a week.

Toll Pres: Nah. Why don't we just issue a mandatory waving rule?

Toll Associate: They'll never do it. They're part of a non-waving union.

Toll Pres: Well then we'd better get some other people to do it for them.

Toll Associate: You mean like scabs?

Toll Pres: No, just some cheap labor in addition to our regular workers.

Toll Associate: Got it, chief. Ill call the homeless shelters and community colleges right away.

Yep, I'm pretty sure that's it. But I'm gonna stop waving back until I get some answers.

No comments: