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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Bed and Breakfast it Ain't

Sure the Extended Stay has a bed and you can eat breakfast here (got my trusty giant box of Kashi from Costco sitting right here) but that’s where the similarities end.

At a B&B, you have a cozy room.
At the Extended Stay, I have a cramped room.

At a B&B they change your bed linens daily.
At the Extended Stay, they pretend to change your bed linens weekly. I know because I hid a crumpled tissue in my sheets and it was still there after “cleaning day.”

At a B&B they provide warm eggs any style
At the Extended Stay they provide pastel-colored lifesavers that are probably leftovers from Easter ‘05

At a B&B when you eat breakfast with your spouse you each get a bowl.
At the Extended Stay when Frank came to visit we had to take turns eating cereal because we only had one bowl. One morning I didn’t want to wait so I ate my Kashi out of a mug. Hey, it was either that or the frying pan.

At a B&B they vacuum your room.
At the Extended Stay they vacuum most of your room except for the Cheetos crumbs under the bed (which would be fine except I haven’t eaten Cheetos the whole time I’ve been here).

At a B&B you may encounter a few of your own stray hairs from your head.
At the Extended Stay you may encounter a few stray hairs. But they’re not your own. And they’re not from anybody’s head.

Maybe I'll go out for breakfast.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

you can stay at our place, we just washed the sheets on the spare bed, and I make scrambled eggs every morning.

Anonymous said...

Go to Scott's, Elsa! RUN! I'm grossed out just reading about this place!

Liz said...

yes, Charlie who is the baby would not be allowed to crawl on the floor in the PHP. Elsa WAS going to come stay w/ me... but she opted out of my lovely guest bedroom with VERY CLEAN sheets, a well-stocked bathroom and wine every night for "a quiet place to write"... what's THAT all about? Daniel sometimes eats lean pockets or hamburgers with jalapenos on them for breakfast. I'm sure he'd share... :)

Jessi said...

One bowl?

That's sad.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, I bet the room has one of those yucky bedspreads, too!
I don't know if would Luna come and stay!

Writinggal said...

Thanks for the offers but if I stayed somewhere nice and clean what would I write about on my blog?

Anonymous said...

well, at my house we watch baseball everynight, so you could write about how stupid all the teams are for not having me as a coach! Or you could write about the Scout, today is it's 29th birthday.

Writinggal said...

And the Scout and I could talk about what it's like to be 29.