Kick Me, Katie

She brightens our mornings, touches our hearts and even convinces us to let strangers probe our buttocks. She’s Katie. And we’re bummed that she’s leaving Today.

At our house Katie is a morning fixture (like Kashi and poops). In fact, when the alarm sounds the first thing Frank says is, “Is the remote on your side? We gotta watch Katie.” That’s right. We don’t even call it the Today Show. We just call it Katie.

We even discuss what she’s wearing: “Oh, she’s doing that whole Asian thing again,” Frank will say. Or I’ll yell, “Get in here! Katie’s got on fishnet panty hose!”

Once I even got into an argument at a restaurant about the greatness that is Katie. This girl said, “I hate her. She so biased.” I said I liked her and that I thought she was a good journalist and the girl said, “Good journalist? She’s so liberal.” I began ranting about what a great mom she is and how she’s turned the tragedy of her husband’s death into significant progress in colon cancer research, not to mention she knows how to ask the hard questions in interviews. It got pretty heated. I don’t like it when people dis Katie.

I’ll miss her toothy grin, the way she awkwardly flirts with that “where in the world” guy and her story transitions: “Now, on a much lighter note…”

Sure, I could watch her on the CBS Evening News but you know what that means? I’d have to watch the news. Who am I? My parents?

Now the question is, will we still watch the show formerly known as Katie? Will we start calling it Meredith? Nah. And by the way, I can’t believe they picked Meredith Vieira for this gig. She’s older than Katie! This is the same way I felt when Pope Benedict stepped in. Why not get some fresh, young blood in there?

You can imagine Frank’s disappointment when I had to explain to him that it wasn’t “the hot girl from The View.” He was appalled: “What? Why wouldn’t they pick that Survivor girl?” I had to then teach him the difference between a TV personality and an actual journalist. I’m not sure he understood because by the end of the conversation he was lobbying for Kristin Cavallari: “Think about it. She’s got the SAME INITIALS as Katie.”

So Katie, we wish you well. I know it was a good career move for you and as your biggest fans, we’ll always support you. And as Frank says: “Guess we get to sleep in a little later now.”