Writinggal, Unleashed

Besides miracle babies, there's another species I don't hate: dogs. Many people think I hate them because:

a). I don't have one
b). I become terrified when I'm around them

(It's still puzzling how this misconception developed.)

So just to clarify, I don't HATE all dogs. I like certain dogs and I don't like certain dogs. It's a case by case basis. I feel the same way about humans.

In fact, to prove my adoration for canines I've even become a part-time dog walker. Today, for instance, I'm going to walk Cul de Sac Carrie's dogs, Jaxx and Katie:

Yes, two dogs at once! Their leashes get tangled up, they stop to eat acorns every couple of steps and you don't even wanna know what happens if one of them spots a bunny rabbit.

Here are my rules for my dog walking business:
--I don't pick up poop
--I don't accept payment in the monetary form (maybe a glass of wine or something)
--The dogs must listen to my stories (I don't have anyone else to talk to during the day.)
--I always give treats afterwards


The other day three of us walked Thabo, the 150-pound Rhodesian Ridgeback. And I thought Jaxx and Katie had a lot of poop!

When I first met Thabo, I'll admit, I was frightened. (He wasn't in costume.) This fear stems from when I used to run around neighborhoods a lot. You wanna talk about a species hating another species--dogs hate runners. This is not a case by case basis. They always chase them. So after being chased and harassed by my fair share of dogs (and owners passively saying, "Down boy," as their dogs trampled me), I did develop a bit of a fear. This causes me to sometimes unfairly judge dogs before I've had a chance to get to know them.

As it turns out, Thabo is very calm and sensitive--even if he does at first appear to be a killer.

So I've made a lot of breakthroughs with the neighborhood dogs. The biggest one being winning over Katie (pictured above with brother Jaxx). When I first went to walk the two of them, Katie wouldn't even come near me. She just barked like crazy and wouldn't even let me walk her. Now (after lots of treats), she's my buddy. She comes right up to me. In fact, I think she and Avery Clayton are gonna have to duke it out over who's gonna be president of my fan club.

Who's not vying for the job of Vice Prez? Sophie.

She has a "professional" dog walker who actually picks up poop, accepts money and doesn't make her listen to stories of her cart crusade. Although I'm pretty sure Sophie's walker gives her treats.

It's pretty standard in our biz.