Bananas on the Brain

Yesterday, as I was eating my second banana of the day I noticed that the end of it was all brown. “Yes,” I said out loud, right before I took a big bite. Then it occurred to me that some people wouldn’t eat the brown part. Me, I prefer ‘em brown. I like my bananas soggy, just like my cereal.

Then I thought about how it was weird that I had already eaten one banana that day and some people might think that’s a lot of bananas. Hey, at least I won’t get a Charlie horse.

Then I noticed the Curious George sticker on the bananas and I thought, “That’s a cute sticker. Maybe I should put it somewhere. Maybe I could like, collect banana stickers.” Then I remembered that my friend Justin already does that so it would be totally unoriginal.

Then I remembered how Cul de Sac Carrie made that awesome banana pudding and tricked me into thinking the whip cream was fat free.

But then I remembered how she redeemed herself by making another banana pudding in a heart-shaped bowl:

Then I thought about how CC sent this email with a list of all the great qualities of bananas. And even though I know it’s lame to cut and paste something into my blog (and thus get out of having to write a very long blog), I’m pretty busy today since I spent so much time eating and thinking about bananas yesterday so check this out:


CURATIVE PROPERTIES OF BANANAS

The banana is a high-energy food:
Bananas contain a high level of easily digestible natural sugars in both their fresh and dried forms, which it releases quickly in the blood stream. So eating bananas helps in keeping your body engine running at peak performance.

Bananas work wonders for dysentery, diarrhea, constipation and piles:
Ripe bananas help relieve diarrhea and dysentery while under ripe bananas counter constipation and piles.

(WG Note: I don't know what piles is but context clues tell me I don't want to)

Bananas help cure stomach ulcers:
The banana has the ability to correct acidity, gastritis and peptic ulcer. It is claimed that the banana stimulates mucus production by stomach lining.

Bananas keeps hypertension at bay:
Research shows that bananas contain certain enzyme inhibitors which are reported to be effective in controlling blood pressure in hypertensive people.

Bananas helps maintain quick reflexes:
Potassium levels in our body drop after strenuous exercise. Tell-tale signs of low potassium include aching muscles, irregular heart beats, slower reflexes and a feeling of confusion. Being rich in potassium, bananas help in maintaining reflexes and keeping confusion at bay.

Bananas combat iron deficiency:
Low levels of iron cause lethargy and weakness. Iron deficiency is common among women and vegetarians. Being iron rich, bananas can easily combat iron deficiency.

Bananas boost immune system:
Being rich in powerful anti-oxidants, Vitamin C and A and zinc, bananas help in boosting the body’s immune system, too.

Back to WG: Then there was this whole section about different beauty treatments you can do with bananas like using them to help your dry skin or your dull, unshiny hair. And although I don’t have any rules about what time of day I can eat things, I’m not really big on rubbing food all over my body—especially bananas. They kinda stink. And I don’t like bringing food into the bathroom. Curious George would totally look at me funny.