A Big Change

Well, we suspected it would happen. Things have been the same for awhile and I think everyone was just ready for something different—a shift in power. Of course, this change brings about mixed feelings. Some are happy about it. Some are really angry. We don’t know how this change will affect our daily lives but one thing’s for sure, things will be different. At least that’s what all the networks are predicting. Yes, November 7th was definitely a turning point in history…

...Britney filed for divorce from KFed!

And now that they’re splitsville, both Brit and KFed have asked me to write their personal ads. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

For Brit:
Twice divorced, former pop star with two kids, seeking non-back-up-dancing, employed Southern gentleman. Preferably no children and/or pregnant girlfriends. Access to free Cheetos a plus.

(Yikes. Better strike that last sentence or else she’ll be going after my husband.)

For KFed (or “FedEx” as Perez Hilton has dubbed him):
Rapper, father of four (but possibly more), seeking sugar mama who is ready to get knocked up and has an aversion to shoes. Access to private jet so I can go to Vegas with my biz-oys a plus.

FedEX! You totally rewrote that one. How many times do I have to tell you that Britney is one of a kind? You’re not going to find someone exactly like her.

Jamie Lynn won’t have you.
Aguilera’s married (I’ll call you when that ends.)
Pink’s too tough (and hitched temporarily).

Hey, what about one of the Olsen twins? Nah, Too bony.
Paris Hilton? She’d refuse to use gas station bathrooms. Too high maintenance.
Tara Reid? She’s got some meat on her and I bet she’d prefer to pee at the BP station!
Ah, but too poor. She could barely fund your wife beater wardrobe.

I don’t know what to tell you, F.E. The people have spoken and you’ve been voted out. I can’t explain it. But I think I finally know what they mean when they say “with liberty and justice for all.”