Things Overheard at the Pig Pickin'

This weekend Frank and I traveled to North Carolina--the site of my family's annual Memorial Day pig pickin'. The barbecue is held on the beach at my Grandma's house and prior to the lunch, she reads her famous poem--created just for the occassion. She includes everyone who's going to be there that day (about 50-60 people) and what's going on in their lives. Besides that, we spend the weekend going to different relatives' houses and eating, drinking, eating, talking, eating and more talking. Here are some of the things that were said this weekend and unless otherwise indicated, my grandma said them. Oh, and be sure to do your best North Carolina accent when reading this:

“Bottled water is for the birds. They just get it out of someone else’s tap water, you know."

“Are you gonna eat some grits?”

Referring to my aunt’s meal plan at her assisted living home: “You use it or you lose it.”

"I can't add her into the poem. Her name is Janice. Nothing rhymes with Janice! The least he could do is a bring a girlfriend with a name that rhymes with something."

Prior to reading the poem:
“The poem is a dee-saster.”

Every woman over 70:
“Frank, you look right skinny.”
Frank: “It’s because of Elsa’s cooking” (His attempt to compliment my healthy cooking didn’t come out right.) Old lady giggling ensued.

“Now you’ve got to have some grits!”

“Put some butter on your sweet potatoes. Put some butter on your sweet potatoes. Put some butter on your sweet potatoes. Did you put butter on your sweet potatoes?”

"I declare, I look like a rick-a-ma-roar."

Three old ladies trying to use the telephone:
“What’s the number?”
“It’s 247-354”
“Well, that’s not enough numbers!”
“Well let me try it!”
“It’s not working!”
“You didn’t do it right!”
“Is it ringing?”
"It’s making another noise. What’s that noise?”
“It’s not ringing. It’s not working.”
“You’re not gonna get through that way. You’ve got to start over!”
“But I don’t have enough numbers.”

Same three ladies trying to figure out one lady’s meal plan status:
“Juanita, how did you get eight meals in the hole?”
“Did you know it’s ‘you use it or you lose it?’”
“Well they say I’m good through the 21st.”
“Well it’s past the 21st. You’re gonna have to live on that sweet potato till the end of the month!”
“I reckon I just don’t pay attention!”
“Well you’ve got to keep track. You see it’s you use it or you lose it!”
"It is a pretty big sweet potato."

"You’ve got to eat your grits or else you’re not a Kinfolk.”

On using the camera:
“You’re wasting your pictures, Elsa!”
Me: “It’s the kind of camera where you can take as many pictures as you want.”
Grandma: “What?”
Frank: “You use it or you lose it.”

(After I poured Frank some Orange Juice):
“That’s right, Elsa. You wait on him.”

“Patty likes grits. Claire likes grits. Jack likes grits. Polly likes grits…”

"You want some fun in your drink?"

Aunt Betty Lou:
“Elsa, you look like a right floosie. What? It’s a compliment!”

“…Betty Lou likes grits. Betty Lynn likes grits. Jasper likes grits…”

“She isn’t any bigger than a minute; Well she certainly hasn't lost any weight; She’s right heavy.”

“Frank, you ate your grits. That’s a good boy!”
Frank: “Well I figured you use it or you lose it.”

More pics:

Grandma teaching Frank the card game Dirty Dog. For some reason the rules kept working in her favor: "Oh, I put down a 7, that's wild. I put down a 4, that skips you. I put down a 2, that means you have to pick up all the cards." Frank is saying, "Grandma, you're a dirty dog!"

Me with the "Use it or Lose it" ladies.

Enjoying a "fun" drink with Grandma