After the Rolo cookie incident of ’05, I just couldn’t bring myself to bake again. But then, a baking miracle—my mother sent me all kinds of ingredients like unsweetened cocoa (since you apparently can’t use Swiss Miss), dark brown sugar (because light is just so frowned upon), sugar (Splenda just isn’t the same) and new baking powder (not the one absorbing odors in my fridge).
I decided since I had all the right ingredients I would pick myself up, tie my apron on, hold my oven mitt high and bake again. My first attempt? Blonde cream cheese brownies from my new healthy cook book (courtesy of my mother-in-law).
I thought it would be a nice Valentine’s Day treat for Frank (a break from all that fiber). So I blended, I mixed, I cracked (eggs), I baked and then I waited. When Frank took his first bite he shook his head and said, “This time I KNOW what they’re supposed to taste like…” I took a bite. Ew…
Where did I go wrong, Baking gods? Well, I have one idea. I just couldn’t bring myself to buy a whole bottle of pure maple syrup so I used the Aunt Jemima light we had in the fridge. I know, I know!! I’m not supposed to substitute! It’s baking suicide! If I ever bake again, I vow to follow all the rules.
In other cooking news, I seem to have a strange aversion to vegetable broth. I’m not allergic to it; I just can’t buy it. Here are the facts:
Attempt #1: Tues., 2/7: I’m at Kroger, stocking up on all sorts of ingredients for the next two weeks. I had two recipes that called for broth—one chicken, one vegetable. Kroger didn’t have vegetable! So I reluctantly decided to get chicken for both. I reached into those handy Campbell dispensers and pulled out two chicken broths—or so I thought. When I got home I realized I had grabbed one broth and one chicken noodle soup!
Attempt #2: Sun., 2/12: Frank and I are out and about and I tell him I need some things at the store. He suggests Kroger and I say, “No, I need vegetable broth and they don’t have it. Let’s go to Albertson’s.” So we’re in the soup aisle and we find vegetable broth by Swanson. I said, “Does Albertson’s make a vegetable broth?” He said, “No, but they have beef broth.” I said, “Okay, I guess I’ll have to get the Swanson kind.”
On Monday night when I’m practicing a pasta dish that I was going to make for my book club (girls, be glad I practiced, it didn’t make the cut), I get out the broth to find that I had purchased BEEF BROTH! And not even the Albertson’s kind! The Swanson kind!! What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I purchase vegetable broth?
And why can’t I bake anything? And why haven’t my Vitatops come in yet? And where, in the name of all things good and evil and chocolate, are the Girl Scout Cookies??!!