If I’m alone in my house and I sneeze, my biggest fear is that a voice will come out of nowhere and say “Bless you.” Kinda gives me chills just thinking about it.
And that made me consider other phobias of mine:
I hate going to the mailbox every day for fear I’ll have to make small talk with one of my neighbors.
Not a big fan of elevators (especially crowded ones) but I’m getting better at that.
I hate running into people I know at Target (again with the small talk).
Eating and watching gross things on TV
A dog wandering around by himself—no leash, no owner. When I’m out running and hear the clang clang of its collar I start shaking.
When someone knocks on the door. They may want to sell me something. May want to kill me. May want to make small talk. No matter what, it’s scary.
Okay so that pretty much covers it. Besides the obvious things like flying, things touching my neck and using our grill. Oh, and getting off the lifts while skiing.
Man, if I put all these things in a script I’d have one scary movie:
A young woman goes to her mailbox and runs into a neighbor. She makes awkward small talk for a few minutes and when she finally turns to go inside a random dog approaches her, barking. She makes it safely inside her house when there’s a knock at the door. Ah, more small talk! Or is it the leashless dog? She wants to just sit down and eat her lunch but Jerry Springer is on every channel! She cuts off the TV, sits down to eat her peppery lunch and naturally lets out a big sneeze. A voice comes from out of nowhere: “Bless You.”
I totally have chills.
Watch out Stephen King.
6 comments:
I hate it when people knock on my door! I don't have effort to lie to them.
There's no reason to answer your door. No good can come out of it (unless it's cute decorator Nate from Oprah, coming to redo your living room).
Mormons once knocked on my door. They said, "Do you go to church?" I said, "Yes." They went away. They didn't know what to do with someone who wasn't a heathen.
It was probably my cousin.
WG, I find it hard to believe a bad ghost would say "Bless you." I think only a good ghost would be so polite. I'd let that ghost stay.
It's even scarier when they're polite! Plus, he/she would say it in a really spooky voice.
It's kind of like how kid ghosts are scarier than adult ghosts.
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