Hail to the Haiku

I love rules. I love, especially, to make up my own rules and then force myself to follow them. Yesterday we were watching an episode of Curb your Enthusiasm (which is on about as often “I love the 80’s” and “The Gauntlet”). Larry met a man who was an Orthodox Jew therefore everything had to be kosher. I was fascinated by it and I told Frank I would like to be kosher. “That’s just cause you like to have rules,” Frank said. Yep, I love me some rules.

That is why my favorite form of poetry is the Haiku. Sure, anybody can write “free form” verse and call it poetry. I call it rambling. With the Haiku you’ve got rules. And as Robert Frost said, “Poetry without rules is like a tennis match without a net.” Here are the main rules: five syllables in the first line, seven syllables in the second line and five syllables in the last line. And the biggest rule? And the one that everyone disregards? It HAS to be related to nature. Now that you know the primary rules you will see why this Haiku of mine won an award in the fifth grade:

While looking upward
I saw many cotton balls
Floating in the air

Now that I know more about Haikus, however, I can see that mine is wrought with flaws. First of all, a Haiku (or “ku” as those in the know call it) should be in the present tense. Also you should avoid the use of gerunds (-ing endings). Then it’s supposed to have double meanings, puns, extra layers, etc. I got none of that. But I guess no other fifth graders did either and thus I won the coveted prize--an afternoon at the writer's workshop, listening to some speaker.

Today, I’m a ku machine. I can write one as fast as those kids in the Gauntlet can start fighting. Look, I’ll do one now:

Sunlight streams inward
as I write my daily blog
Must finish by 9.

It’s got it all: the rules, a little bit of nature, present tense…no double meaning but at least I avoided the forbidden gerunds. Oh, and why do I need to finish by 9? Cause I got some bacon cooking! Yum.

Darnit. I just remembered I can't eat that. Not kosher.