Have you Met Safety Dave?

This is Safety Dave. He can be hired for 21st birthday parties, First Communions or Bar Mitzvahs. Here he is entertaining and educating people at a New Year’s celebration. He’s really versatile.

What does he do? He spreads the message of safe drinking. No, Safety Dave isn’t a party pooper. He believes you can drink as much as you want as long as you take necessary precautions.

For instance, at this particular New Year’s party Safety Dave indulged in about a dozen beers, demonstrated proper keg stand formation and downed a few shots. Later he even put his mouth directly on the chocolate fondue fountain. This man’s a party animal! But he does it all with his trusty ski helmet.

You see several years ago, when he was just Drunk Dave, he was doing the Macarena while drinking a beer (I said it was several years ago) and when he got to the part where you wiggle your hips and say, “Hey, Macarena” he became disoriented and tumbled over into a crowd of jean-short-wearing guys and gals (several, several years ago).

When he finally awoke from his coma his first fear was that he would never be able to party again. When the doctor said he simply suffered massive brain cell loss (both from the fall and the excessive drinking), he was so relieved. He asked, “But can I still go to a kegger this weekend? I promise I’ll be careful!”

When Drunk Dave returned home he knew what he had to do. He decided he couldn’t afford to lose anymore brain cells. (I mean, how would he be able to do a keg stand or shot gun a beer if he was any dumber?) So in order to protect his head, he decided he would never drink without wearing his ski helmet.

And that’s how Drunk Dave became Safety Dave.

Now he’s the hit at parties. As long as he has his helmet on he can dance, wrestle and even do gymnastics. What’s the cost? All the free drinks Safety Dave wants. If you have Safety Dave at your next event, you’ll see that he really livens things up. Here's what people are saying:

"2006 is gonna reakin' frock because of Dafety Save!!"

"Ever since I hired Safety Dave, girls like me!!"

"Safety Dave, I'm never having a party without you, man! I love that cute lil' helmet of yours!"

Please let me know if you would like to hire him and as his agent, I will set it up. For an additional charge he will bring Safety Dave helmets in a variety of colors for all your party guests. We cannot be responsible if Safety Dave licks your chocolate fondue fountain, hits on your female party guests or if he spontaneously starts the Macarena.