Cul de Sac Carrie Confesses

You know how I feel about Subway and their conspiracy to make America fat with their confusing mayonnaise bottles?

Well, this morning I learned that Cul de Sac Carrie is in cahoots with them. And just like that skinny, beltless suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey murder, she has confessed to the crime.

Here are the details:

Last week when Frank was out of town, Carrie and her husband felt sorry for me and had me over for dinner. I’m not too proud to accept a pity meal; it was really good! For dessert we had banana pudding.

Ah. A moment of silence, please, for this amazing BP.

After I had one piece Carrie asked if I’d like another (no-brainer) and then asked if I wanted small, medium or large. I said, “Medium!” and she gave me a large. We then washed it down with Kahlua and milk. My point? I KNEW what I was consuming and I didn’t even ask things like, “Is this skim milk?” or “Is the pudding the sugar free kind?” I didn’t care.

But then yesterday CC said that she had a bunch of leftover ingredients and if she made it again would Frank and I like some? Duh.

So she brought it over last night in these cute little martini glasses (a presentation idea she admits to stealing from me). Although later when Frank ate his he said, “This is MUCH better than your parfaits!”

I had to agree and I also added, “I know it’s a ton of whip cream but Carrie said it was the light kind!” We then simultaneously scraped every last bit of whip cream off of our martini glasses. I was thinking to myself, how bad could a few bananas, some sugar free pudding and light whip cream be?

Then this morning on our walk Carrie confessed. I guess I had suspected all along. It was just too thick and creamy to be light. She said, “I have a confession to make.” I screamed, “The whip cream wasn’t light, was it? WAS IT?” She admitted that it wasn’t light, that she had inadvertently bought the wrong kind. She even said, “I’m like Subway junior!”

But the good news? Cul de Sac Carrie ate the fattening whip cream too. So I’ll forgo my urge to take her to Subway and force her to eat their mayonnaise. Plus, it was quite nice of her to make us that BP. I think she feels bad about the whole thing and you know what that means? I’ve got another pity meal coming my way!