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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

You Don't Wear the Ribbon?

I’m down with the pink ribbon for breast cancer. The yellow ribbon for soldiers. The red ribbon for AIDS.

But did you know there was a purple ribbon?

Frank said they’re all over his work. I took a stab at what it meant:

“Um…Leukemia?”

“How ‘bout the crisis in the Middle East?”

“I know! Remember the hurricane victims!”

“Uh…Oprah’s got a new Broadway show?”

Since my guesses were getting colder, Frank told me: The purple ribbons are to remind you not to leave your kids in the car. There’s even a flag for it—right next to the Stars and Stripes and the Lone Star!

Now let me just say that it’s TRAGIC if you leave your kids in the car and something awful happens to them. But does it warrant a ribbon? And if so wouldn’t it fall under a general child abuse ribbon?

What’s next?

A black ribbon to remind you to cut off your stove?

A brown ribbon for checking your trunk very carefully to make sure soup cans didn’t roll out of your grocery bags?

A white ribbon for sun block?

A silver ribbon for flushing the toilet? Would you wear two if you often needed to double flush?

A green ribbon for remembering to put the flag up on your mailbox if you’re sending a letter?

I know green doesn’t really make sense but red and black were already taken. And speaking of the colors, that’s Frank’s biggest issue with this purple ribbon campaign:

“I mean, did they have to take purple? That’s like a major color!” he said.

I agreed: “Plus, purple is the least popular car color!”


So even though we don’t think you should leave your kids in the car, we don’t wear the purple ribbon. We wear a multi-colored ribbon and just say it’s the ribbon for everything.

Oops. Did I just let Frank leave the house wearing a rainbow ribbon?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh no!! If they can't remember to get the kid out of the car they won't remember to put a ribbon on or what a ribbon color stands for. Better not confuse them any more.

Writinggal said...

Exactly. We might as well just have one general "don't be stupid" ribbon. Maybe aqua?

Anonymous said...

maybe they should have a gun-metal blue ribbon to remind people not to be morons and have a little common sense or they will be shot on sight.

Anonymous said...

i didn't know it wasn't ok to leave your kid in the car... i leave elle all the time, in fact, she's in the car right now in the driveway... she sleeps better that way. as a mom, you do what ya gotta do!

you have to know i'm totally kidding... but seriously, do we need a ribbon for that? it reminds me of the seinfeld episode where kramer won't wear the aids ribbon during a race!

Writinggal said...

Duh, that's what my title is referring to :)