The Elsa Show

If I see you and I start to babble, forgive me. I work alone at Writinggal headquarters all day so when I go out to dinner or talk to someone on the phone, I pretty much explode.

Thea called yesterday on her way home from work and I immediately launched into “Brown Eyed Girl,” an homage to yesterday’s blog. But before she could even tell me why she was calling, I continued with ramblings of the day’s events, anecdotes and gossip.

Uh-oh. She hadn’t even bought a ticket and I was putting on “The Elsa Show.”

This is what Frank calls my little routine of sorts. I usually do The Elsa Show when we go to dinner with a group of people. I guess I just have to be the center of attention so I tell lots of stories, babble and under no circumstances do I let Frank speak.

When we visited friends in Atlanta a couple of weeks ago I even bragged about my ability to sing all fifty prepositions---“The Preposition Song,” I call it. Naturally, our dinner companions requested that I perform the song at the table. Which I did.

"Aboard, About, Above, Across, After..."

And later Shel Silverstein came up and I just had to perform my second grade talent show act which was the poem “Clarence.”

Here I’m saying “spray to make his hair look wetter…”

To be fair, our friend also recited “Homework, oh homework, I hate you, you stink…”

But then the next night I did the preposition song AGAIN. And then when I was telling the story at book club about how I recited the preposition song, they requested it and I did it a THIRD time.

I have to stop. I told Frank as much. He said, “That’s okay. You’re just doing The Elsa Show.”

It’s a variety show, really. I do monologues, I sing…I even dance (anyone seen my “hey boys” jig?) Right now I do the show for free to people who don’t even ask. Soon, though, as my fame continues to rise, I’ll have to start charging. Don’t worry; ticket prices will be reasonable—unless you want the preposition song. Something that good is gonna cost ya.