Over Board at On the Border

Lately, whenever I go out to eat I like to ruin the experience by looking online at the nutritional information first. But here’s why I’m glad I do it:

You know how sometimes you try to make “better bad choices” (a tip from fitness guru Larry North)? You might think, “Well, I guess I’ll be somewhat healthy and get the spinach and mushroom quesadillas even though I’d prefer the combo beef and chicken.” OR “If I get the veggie fajitas I could make four fajitas instead of three—you know, since I’m being all healthy and eating veggies.”

These thoughts went through my head prior to a double date with Frank & Me and Courtney and John Loyd. We had chosen On the Border because: a). We love it and b). They were having the Fiesta Trio—a salad, fajitas and Brownie Border Sundae for $9.99. It’s as good as my birthday meal at TGI Friday’s! And Frank got us all fired up in our e-mail exchanges when he cheered, “Long live the Fiesta Trio!”

But I had learned from my TGI Friday’s experience that it’s best not to get too excited. Over-excitement leads to over eating. And over eating would be fine if those Loyds didn’t always split something and make us Simciks look like savages. Which we kinda are when it comes to the Fiesta Trio.

So anyway, before we went I checked out the stats and if you don’t want to be shocked and subsequently sad, you better look away:
If you choose GRILLED veggie fajitas over chicken you’re only saving 50 calories and you’re adding on TEN grams of fat.

If you think, “Hey, maybe I’ll go with shrimp instead of chicken. I always hear seafood’s good for me.” Bad move: Better add on 300 calories and 45 grams of fat for those measly shrimp.

If you’re a quesadilla-lover, I’ve got downright depressing news: One order of the seemingly harmless triangles is almost as many calories as you need for the day and as many fat grams as you need for two days. And as I foreshadowed, it’s no better getting the spinach and mushroom kind. Might as well go all out. The good news? You probably won’t eat a whole order. The bad news? Even half an order is pretty destructive.

So how did our Fiesta Trio go? Well I tried to do damage control by preparing to take one dessert home, or not eat all the fajitas or maybe only have two instead of three. The result?

The only thing I didn’t completely terrorize was the salad. And doggy-bagging the dessert? Not possible when ice cream’s involved.

Worse news: The Loyds split their meal, barely finished it and watched us Simciks devour ours like we were leaving the next day to be on Survivor.

The good news? Courtney ate some of my Brownie Bottom Sundae! Saved me about 150 calories.

The lesson here? On the Border is not your friend. Only an enemy would try to give you a heart attack. But with enemies who make homemade flour tortillas, creamy queso and tasty margaritas, who needs friends?