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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Halfway Husband Strikes Again



I thought we had made progress. About six years ago, before Frank and I were married, I gave him a little mini-workshop on a subject I like to call “Different Types of Trash.” Sure, I let his sloth-like habits slide when he was at his own apartment—the laundry pile on his bathroom floor (“boxer short graveyard”), the filthy tub (“No, Frank, a tub is not ‘clean by definition’”) and the overflowing, Niagra-fall-ish trash can.

But when he was at MY apartment I expected a certain level of civilized behavior. And it was a plastic foil cinnamon roll tray in my bedroom trash can—complete with thumb-sized crumbs and speckles of icing—that led to my first lecture:

Me: Frank, look at this! Why would you eat the last cinnamon roll and then throw all the packaging in a BEDROOM trashcan?

Frank: What’s the difference? A trash can is a trash can.

Me: Yes, trash cans are the same but trash isn’t!

And that’s when I launched into my “different types of trash” explanation. The main rule? Food trash doesn’t belong in the bedroom. In fact, it doesn’t belong anywhere but in its original location which was the kitchen. Plus, I lived in a tiny apartment. The kitchen was practically in the bedroom anyway!

So ever since then I haven’t seen Frank commit this crime. In fact, in general he’s much cleaner. Why just the other day, as he looked at our clean bathroom floor he said, “Can you believe I used to just throw my boxer shorts on the bathroom floor?” I smiled with pride.

But then, a major setback:




A beer bottle in the bedroom trashcan? Not only was he breaking the “different types of trash” rule but he was hurting the environment by not recycling! And it also falls under the “half a chore” violation because while he did dispose of his beer bottle, he was too lazy to put it in the right trash can.

I didn’t tell Frank I saw it. I just snapped this picture and then removed the evidence. This blog is the first he’s hearing about it. But I’m sure we’ll discuss it when he gets home. What should his punishment be? I think it will be to wash the tub cause as he will see, it is NOT clean by definition.

6 comments:

ReadBecca said...

I used to leave beer bottles in the shower in college. I think you ought to cut ol' Frankie some slack.

ReadBecca said...

Dollar fifty chuggers. That time Kimbo and I had a three-kegger and we stood on my marble-topped table and didn't know anyone at our own party. I still have that table. My TV's on it. Good times.

Writinggal said...

Hmmm...I don't think we're ready to adopt the motto "But ReadBecca Does it" at our house just yet.

Although I have been known to sip a beer in the shower during Spring Break. Mmmm...soapy beer.

ReadBecca said...

WWRD?

dad simcik said...

Frank I feel or ?????fear ???? you have married your mother for she has had the same complaints!!!!

Anonymous said...

Elsa, your father in law just doesn't get the differance between complaints and advise on how one can better themselves. I on the other hand greatly appreciate your attemps to better my god son. Sue has tried for year to better me but I know for a fact there is a beer can in the bedroom trash can right now and I know for a fact the both our boys have taken food into the bathroom. But you girls keep trying!