SmoothieGal

Speaking of places I used to work for minimum wage, I once helped out on the Smoothie King pitch at my ad agency. If any of you have ever worked at an agency you know that you do a lot more work when you’re pitching an account than when you actually get it. So anyway, for the pitch we sent this guy all around Texas and Louisiana, drinking smoothies and checking out the stores. He would fax his notes back to me in Austin and I wrote this diary of his journey--“Smoothie King of the Road” we called it. Here’s an excerpt of a diary entry from Houston:

Day two of my excursion. Arrived at the
Smoothie King on Memorial Drive. Ooh la la.
A fancy part of town with a fancy Smoothie
King to match. Much like the patrons, all the
products are set up in a neat and orderly
fashion. Track lighting made all the upscale,
beautiful customers look even better. Crystal,
the SK employee, knew how to treat her elite
clientele, even knew all the regulars. Not by name,
but by drink: “Hey, Mr. Pep Upper!” she called
out to one businessman. “Look, it’s Power Punch Plus!”
to a stay-at-home mom post-workout. Got myself
some breakfast and a new nickname:
"Cinnamon Oatmeal Raison HeaterZ."


The guy who did this trip complained that I made him sound effeminate. I can't imagine why.

So after writing this diary and downing approximately 117 smoothies over the course of the pitch, I know a thing or two-hundred about smoothies. And Smoothie King, I hate to do this to you, but I’ve created a rival refreshment. Here it is:


Smoothiegal’s Super Banana Blueberry Kashi Surprise






Okay, I’m still working on the name but I love to have the word “surprise” in all my inventions. I make this everyday at about 11 a.m. It keeps me going until about 2 p.m when I eat again. That’s right; I get TWO lunches. If you want to try my Smoothiegal’s Super Banana, etc. etc. here’s the recipe:

First, it’s good to have a Smoothie Maker but I’m sure a blender would work:

One cup of ice
One cup of skim milk
One banana
Three tablespoons of blueberries
Four-five clumps of Kashi GoLean Crunch

Pour it all into the blender/smoothie maker (I like to break up the banana a little) and go! I blend for about one minute. I do “smoothie squats” while I’m waiting. I keep my hands on top of the smoothie maker and just do squats until it’s done. So that wipes out about five calories right there and tones up your legs!

Nut Facts (that’s what we called them in the food biz):
I don’t have all the particulars but it’s easy to figure out since all the ingredients are pretty simple. I know it’s about 250 calories (245 if you do your smoothie squats).

I think it tastes great as is but you could put a little Splenda in it if you like. Oh, and it’s convenient if you have this tall beer glass like mine because it makes a lot of smoothie! (Frank is going to wonder why his beers have a blueberry aftertaste.)

So Smoothie King, it was fun but I just don’t need you and your complicated, pricey smoothies anymore. And I’m patenting this so you better not steal it. Although it’s okay with me if you want your employees to do some smoothie squats.