Writinggal's Tips for Rosie and Katie

I’ve had a lot of jobs which means I’ve had a lot of “first days of work.” Take it from me; I know the do’s and don’ts. I even wrote an article in a women’s magazine about “How to be the Homecoming Queen of your Office” (which was originally a blog right here at Writinggal). Of course, the magazine changed a lot of my story and even called it “How to get in with the office ‘in’ crowd” which I thought was mediocre but still, I’m not bitter.

I’m here to give tips to two other ladies who have big “first days of work” today:


Make Friends with the Mail Room: I don’t know if this is true at TV studios but at advertising agencies the guys (I’m not even going to add “and girls” because there weren’t ever any girls) in the mail room knew everything. They knew every person in the company, they could hook you up with the best supplies like three-hole punches, they could help you clean up your cube area if your three-hole punch exploded without warning, they could even get you a new cube if you wanted. Plus, if other people see you making nice with the MR, they won’t think you’re a snob.


Listen at Lunch: Hopefully your co-workers will take you out for lunch. Don’t complain about where they take you. Don’t gab a lot about yourself, just let them talk about office politics, boring business speak and who left that three-hole-punch disaster on the floor.

Rosie, your show tapes from 11-12 so you will definitely be expected to go to lunch afterwards. Don’t say, “I’ve got to get home to my lover and kids! I haven’t worked this long in years!” Just go.

Katie, you don’t actually have to report to work today until 5:15. No, 5:15 PM! But you’ll be done in time for dinner so just apply the rules to that.

Don’t Wear a Political T-shirt: Luckily, Katie and Ro have people who will dress them but in my past careers, we did not. At one place I worked, this new girl wore a tight-fitting “Rock the Vote” t-shirt on her second day. Yes, it was Election Day but still, she had a meeting to attend! I nicknamed her “the voice of our generation” after that. She didn’t last.

Lose the Office Speak: No matter how they dress you, please don’t say to your other co-workers who may also be wearing black pants, “I guess you got the memo!” And no, you can’t get around it by saying “We’re twinkies!” Oh, and avoid any references to the day of the week. For example, Katie, you don’t need to say, “It’s cool I’m starting on a Tuesday because then I only have a four-day work week! I can’t wait to get back to the Hamptons!” The phrase “hump day” also falls into this category and should be avoided. You’ll lose your crown faster than Rosie can say “cutie-patootie.”


Oh and Rosie, while I’ve got your attention, could you put in a good word for Writinggal to join The View? I know I’m not good about sharing the spotlight and you already have a girl my age whose name starts with “El” but I keep having these dreams that I’m on the show. Nightmares, really. I'm always wearing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing, generally not following any of my own advice. But I think I could be a good replacement for Star.

Now don’t bring this up today since it’s your first and all but maybe tomorrow would be alright. Don’t bother telling your producer or director or Babs. Just tell the mail room guys. Trust me; they’ll get it done.

Happy First Days, Girls!