On the Other Foot

I’m no Imelda Marcos. I’m no Carrie Bradshaw. I’m no…somebody else who’s really into shoes. Oh, I got it: every other woman in the world.

Maybe it’s because I have bunions.
Maybe it’s because I wear an odd size.
Maybe it’s because I’m frugalgal.

Or maybe I just never know which shoes are cool! Take this one, for instance:


Does it say Sassy Socialite or Harry Hines Hooker? To me, it could go either way.

What about this one?

Payless Shopper or Aspiring Writer?


Trick question: they’re the same person. But, apparently, to Via Spiga, they’re for writers because they call the shoe “ViaWriter.”

Hey, Mr. Spiga-I hope you’re not trying to corner the freelance writer’s market because this is what we wear to work:

Yes, cheap, dirty flip flops. That’s about $23 worth of shoes right there, folks. Beyond that I have three pairs of running shoes and tall black boots which or may not be out of style by now. I’m keeping my toes crossed.

Here’s one more example:

Whaddya think? Oprah or Grand Ole Opry?

I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be cool because they’re Chinese Laundry. And I think Chinese Laundry is cool because Liz wears them. And I think that Liz is cool because everybody compliments her on her shoes (even other people who seem to know a lot about shoes).

I once bought a pair of Chinese Laundry shoes and told Frank, “I really don’t know if these are cute or not but it’s a brand Liz buys so they must be." I’m pretty sure he responded with something about jumping off a bridge.

But I did get lots of compliments on them (which made the limping around the next day somewhat worth it). And although that one experience with cool shoes didn’t make me want to be a “footie,” I really hope that Imelda, Carrie and Liz will collectively decide that cheap, dirty flip flops are cool. My bunions will thank you.