I really wanted to tell you about how I did this Yoga video where I had to stand on my head and do a back-bend and all the hysteria that followed.
Then I wanted to tell you about this other workout video that involved me and a hula hoop.
Oh, and have you ever heard my theory on how I think that consuming Gu and listening to music while you run is cheating?
What about the one that I think mommies are full of it when they say they stay in shape by chasing their kids around?
And my Grandma? I’ve got the latest on her and her crab walking.
Well, too bad. I can’t tell you about any of it.
Remember on Seinfeld when Kramer sold his stories to Peterman and then he couldn’t tell them anymore? That’s what I’ve done. I’ve sold all of the above stories to the newspaper.
So if you want to know how all those turn out, you’ll have to pay $.50. Or I guess you could just go online. But one day maybe I’ll put them all in a book; you can buy it and can keep it on your nightstand or perhaps the back of your toilet (what an honor).
And maybe my book will become a major motion picture starring Kate Hudson as me. You’ll have to pay $8.50 just to see my blog on the big screen. I know; being my blog reader is becoming a pricey hobby. Alas, if only you had clicked on my ads, I wouldn’t have had to turn it into a blhore (blog whore).
2 comments:
Look on the bright side, maybe the newspaper will offer to sell them back to you once their book falls apart.
And I know just how to start my book: "I'm returning some pants..."
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