Costume Commentary

The last time Frank and I dressed up for Halloween we went as a Catholic school girl and a Catholic school boy. He wore his high school letter jacket. I wore the typical plaid skirt and midriff top (which tells you that this was during Britney’s better era--1999).

Yesterday I started thinking that maybe we could try the couple costume thing again this year. I started searching on the internet and found several articles on the subject which gave me a few ideas:


Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock


I know Frank likes any excuse to take his shirt off but I refuse to sport that white bikini.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

Frank thinks he could pull off Tom but it would be quite a “stretch” for me to be Katie.



Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake

I like how they’re sweaty…but do they have to be so sporty?


Britney and Kevin

But which BK should we be? Do we go with pre-pregnancy when they were white trash? Pregnant with Sean Preston? Pregnant with baby Jayden? In between pregnancies? Anti-shoes phase? Cheetos-eating phase? (Well, that would cover it all, really.)

Britney and Matt Lauer

I just don’t know if I have the time and energy to make myself look as dirty as she did that day. And it would take a lot of bubble gum.

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In my quest to find the perfect couple costume idea, I discovered that apparently I have even written on the subject. Here’s an excerpt from an MSN article circa 2003:

Halloween Goes Hollywood

Now if you really want to score big in the small-time costume contest, you’ve gotta go with a current and controversial couple. Think Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Gals can sport the long, super-straight black wig with a tight little dress. “I’m wearing a baby tee that says, I heart Idaho,” says Janice, 26, who will play Demi this year to her date’s Ashton. “My date is wearing baggy jeans, a John Deere baseball cap and a t-shirt with the word “Punk’d” ironed on the front.” Be sure to grab a messy wig to make your hair look extra Ashton-shaggy.

Another less controversial but equally amusing couple are our favorite newlyweds, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Girls, stuff your bra (you may need that whole roll of toilet paper) and pick up a blonde wig. “My girlfriend’s even got the fake Louis Vuitton bag to look like Jessica’s genuine one,” admits Brian, 24. Carlos recommends that guys get a very thin white button-down shirt (think of your Grandpa vacationing in Mexico) and don’t touch a single button. Leave 'em all open to show off your gold chains with the initial “N” or even the name “Nick” if you’re lucky enough to score one.

A word to the wise: Don’t try the Olsen twins. You’ll both just fight over who gets to be Mary Kate.


Okay, this is so obviously dated because when I threw out the Olsen twin idea to Frank, he insisted on being Ashley. We got into such a heated debate about it I’ve decided I'm just going to get out that old Catholic school girl outfit again. But this time I’ll update it. I'll bring Cheetos.