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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

So Long, Soft Diet

Yesterday I went to the periodontist to have the last of my gum bandages removed (some had fallen out on their own) and for a check-up. This would signify the end of my soft diet.

The last time I was at his office I was quite loopy from the drugs so I felt a little embarrassed as I walked in yesterday. “Well, hello there, Elsa,” the receptionist said with a giggle. I vaguely remembered saying to her when I first got there two weeks ago, “I need to go the bathroom. Gimmee that toothbrush key!” (The key to their bathroom is on the end of a toothbrush). And then I think when I returned it I said, “Don’t worry. I didn’t brush my teeth with it,” but I may be imagining that.

Then the hygienist came out and greeted me in the same way. I barely remembered her. She said that during the first part of my surgery (which was really just a deep gum cleaning) I kept saying, “I don’t like that…I don’t like that.” As she told the story the receptionist AND insurance lady both laughed and said, “I remember her saying that!”

It’s sad that some minor gum surgery is rivaling my 21st birthday.

The most embarrassing thing was seeing the doctor. I remember when I was in the midst of the surgery, he and his assistant (what’s up, Luther?) were over my head, discussing Grey’s Anatomy. I soooo wanted to be in the conversation and I kept trying to comment. But since all this stuff was in my mouth and I was really out of it, all I could get out was, “MigDeemy!” Translated into English that’s “McDreamy!”

So the doctor would ask Luther, “So isn’t the main girl in love with her boss?”

And I would say, “MigDeemy!”

Then Luther explained how Meredith slept with George but she started crying. The doctor said, “Why did she do that?”

I sputtered, “Beguz see of MigDeemy!” (Translation: “Because she loves McDreamy!”)

“Quit talking, Elsa!” the doctor and Luther said simultaneously.

So seeing the doctor yesterday was a little weird but he didn’t comment on my McDreamy outbursts. And he gave me the green light to eat anything I want. I had started to adopt this policy in the last week anyway. I moved on to chewable soft foods about a week ago but stayed away from crunchy foods like Kashi and chips.

Now I’d like to briefly reflect on my soft diet and point out one highlight and one lowlight:

Highlight:
I invented this fantastic new smoothie: Blended bowl of Kashi
It’s everything you would put in your bowl of Kashi (milk, Kashi) plus a banana. Oh, and I throw in some flax seed as well. Whoever got us that smoothie maker as a wedding gift, we definitely gotten your money’s worth.

Lowlight:
When Frank stole my cupcake.
I bought Frank these awesome cupcakes from Wal-Mart for his birthday but I couldn’t eat any. So when I started eating soft chewable foods I decided that one of those cupcakes would be my first splurge. I can’t tell you how excited I was to bite into this cupcake. It was chocolate with creamy pink icing on the top. Oh, and there were sprinkles. Sprinkles! My only regret was that it wasn’t bigger. I thought, “This cupcake will be gone soon so I better enjoy every bite.” So when Frank asked for a bite I was a little bummed. He’s always so nice about sharing with me that I caved. He bit into it and when he gave it back to me all that was left was this thumb-sized bite of the chocolate part. No icing! No sprinkles! I freaked out. “I can’t believe you ate my whole cupcake! I haven’t eaten in a week! I was so looking forward to that cupcake and its icing! You suck!” I think there may have even been tears. Lucky for him, we had more.

So let this be a lesson to you: If a girl has been on a soft diet for a week and finally gets to bite into something, don’t take it away from her! I’m pretty sure MigDeemy would never do that.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I would have cried if that happened to me. So, you had another cupcake?

Writinggal said...

Yes...several more! They are the BEST cupcakes!

Anonymous said...

Man, the look on your face after he took that huge bite was priceless! I wish I would have taken a picture!

Anonymous said...

Was the back up stock in the freezer so you had to wait until it thawed? I am sure you were eyeing that bite big time with your mouth open.

Writinggal said...

And thanks to Thea for offering me your cupcake but it wouldn't have been fair for you to suffer too.

CC: No, the spare cupcakes were ready to go. Thank goodness!

Anonymous said...

I do not think a cupcake should ever be taken away from a girl!!

Jessi said...

Boys are mean.

Anonymous said...

Never should a cupcake be taken away, especially if she hasn't eaten in over a week!!