Borden created Elsie the Cow in 1939. Did you know that? I don’t think my parents did. When they named me Elsa in 1977 they were handing school children a ready-made target. And it wasn’t only because my first name kinda sounded like Elsie. It didn't help that my last name was pronounced WIDE MAN. Good thing I grew up before the childhood obesity epidemic.
I wasn’t really insulted or hurt that kids would call me Elsie the Cow; I was more just annoyed. You see, I don’t like repetitive things. So, like, if I had a carrot growing out of my head and everyone said to me, “Hey, Carrot Top” over and over again, that would be so annoying. Or if I was Baby Jessica and people always asked me about that damn well everywhere I went…you get it. I just wished they could come up with something more original.
Once I complained to my dad about it and he gave me the best advice a dad could give a daughter:
“Just say ‘my name’s not Elsie. It’s Elsa.’”
OH! Nothing a bunch of second-graders respond to better than good ol’ logic.
So this day-after-Father’s Day, remember: even if your dad has read every book ever published and can do The New York Times crossword puzzle like nobody’s business, he’s no match for elementary school bullies. So take his advice with a grain of salt…or better yet, with a glass of milk.
1 comment:
I have the freaking "repeat-syndrome" thing going on today. I "got too much sun" yesterday.... and I think no less than 15 people have already said that to me today. AND I even wore a long sleeve, fully covered up shirt so they wouldn't. It was all for naught.... but hey, at least I'm not black pants and a white shirt twinkies with somebody, too! :)
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