It was bad scheduling, really. Matt Lauer had landed an exclusive interview with fallen pop princess Britney Spears only to find that all the stylists in L.A. were on strike (apparently protesting Loreal’s announcement that they would begin testing their products on eight-year-old girls sent to detention).
Left to style themselves, Britney and Matt made some less-than-flattering choices.
Britney remembered a stylist telling her once that you should accentuate your best features:
“I know right now that’s not my belly!” joked the expectant mom, who’s “6 or 7 months along” (she’s not exactly sure). Instead Spears chose a blouse that not only accentuated her chest, it almost didn’t cover it at all. Poor little Lauer. Throughout the whole interview he kept saying to himself, “Just focus on her eyes. Don’t look down. Don’t look down, dammit!!”
But focusing on her eyes proved to be a challenge as well. Like every girl Brit loves to wear fake eye lashes. But like every girl, she can’t apply them herself. Yet that’s just what Mrs. Federline did the day of her Dateline debut. Her eyelashes looked worse than mine the day I let a 17-year-old Cosmetology student do my make-up for my bridal portrait. And I’m pretty sure I used the word “tarantula eyes” several times that day.
The stylist strike gave Britney the opportunity to experiment with different shades of blush—a freedom that made her absolutely giddy: “My top was this bright, pretty pink color so I thought I’d use bright pretty pink blush.” Lots of it. And then apparently young Sean Preston got in on the fun and applied some more blush onto mommy’s face.
So who should we thank for her tousled, no-frills, bleached-out hair do? K-Fed? Another creation by SP? Lauer himself? Nope, that was all Brit. The busy mom doesn’t have time to go to one of them fancy salons; she just picks up a box at Walgreens. Hey, Brit—me too! Let me know next time. I have a coupon.
As for Lauer, he was just excited for a free trip to L.A. “I’m hittin’ the beach after this. I got my trunks on under my jeans!” exclaimed the now first-banana of morning television. In the absence of his regular stylist, Lauer chose dungarees that came so far above his waist, he really didn’t even need a shirt. And in lieu of shoes he opted for aqua socks. Maybe he thought he’d get an invitation to swim in the Federline’s pool?
Of course that would mean Britney and Kevin would be forced to choose their own swim wear. Any chance Lauer could escape before having to witness K-Fed in a Speedo?
4 comments:
You forgot to mention that apparently Brit is getting endorsements now for Hubba Bubba bubble gum. I've never seen such a big wad of gum floating around in someone's mouth while doing an interview. The combination of chewing and talking was lovely!
Right! She was Hubba Bubba Brit!
Not only do you look better than that--your boyfriend is the opposite of K-Fed.
Julie, thought that was just hip slang the kids were using these days. :)
I watched the interview online today. The gum was awful! And the boobs. And the outfit. And the way she talks. And...
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