ZumbaGal

Dancing when you’re pregnant is sort of like dancing in a wedding dress. You look like a big old dork. The only good thing is that people assume you look like a dork because of your situation (i.e big, poofy dress and veil or protruding tummy) and therefore don’t necessarily jump to the conclusion that you actually dance like a dork.

The truth is, I dance like a dork in all scenarios—in a wedding dress, in a regular dress, with a big tummy, without a big tummy. I’m extremely uncoordinated. But if I practice something enough, I can get it.

That’s why I thought this would be the perfect time to take up Zumba. (Yes, it is something I’m writing an article about but I actually took the class before I decided to write about it so I’m okay with that.)

Zumba is this sexy style of dancing that has a lot of Latin-salsa-style-hip moves and it’s a really good workout. Sort of like aerobic-salsa. Everybody at the Y here was buzzing about it. When I went to try the class last week, I was one of like 40 women!

The two instructors are superhot and super-ripped. If these girls got this way from doing Zumba then I will Zumba my brains out every day for the rest of my life.

This is not one of them; just some Zumba instructor’s pic I found on the internet. Her bod is almost as hot as my instructors.

So anyway, I am like the worst Zumba dancer in the class. Under normal circumstances, this would be embarrassing considering most of the people know me as an instructor there. They would probably assume that I’ve got some rhythm or that I’m at least a little bit coordinated. And then when they saw me dance—always a step behind, always going the wrong way—they would think, “I’m never going to her class again!”

But I totally get a free pass because I’m pregnant. In fact, people come up afterwards and tell me how good I am at it. I completely fooled them! Their expectations are so low that if I can even do one or two moves correctly, they’re impressed. Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror (okay, I pretty much always watch myself in the mirror) and I look like a hip-gyrating penguin.

So my plan is to master all the moves over the next few months so that when I’m not pregnant, I can be an expert Zumba dancer. I may even venture to the front of the class. I’m just grateful I didn’t know about Zumba on my wedding day.