I’m a writer, not a trapeze artist

One of the fun things about being a writer is interviewing people and learning about whatever it is that they’re into. The problem is, they want me to be into it too. And even if the story is just a tiny blurb, the source expects me to spend all kinds of time and energy on their activity.

For instance, today I interviewed someone about salsa dancing. At the end of our phone interview he said, “So what about you? When are we going to get you out here to do some salsa dancing?”

Actually, salsa dancing would be sort of fun. But if I go and DO everything that I write about, I’ll never have time to write. And I had the pregnant excuse this time.

A couple of weeks ago I was writing about circus workouts. “When are you going to come fly on the trapeze with us? We could give you a free lesson on the tight rope!”

Since I write about health and fitness, the sell is usually about some type of work out. If it’s necessary to the subject of the story, I’ll usually do the thing at least once. But then they always want me to continue:

“Will you be back for next week’s karate class?”
“Should I sign you up for the entire yoga series?”
“Ready to train for your triathlon?”
“You can do prenatal Pilates even if you’re not pregnant!”
“Why haven’t you joined our running club yet?”
“So we’ll see you at boot camp every morning at 5am, right?”
"See you at Zumba tomorrow!"

I always end up feeling guilty for just wanting to do the interview, write the story and move on to the next wacky workout. But it just doesn’t make good business sense to get wrapped up in Gasan Ryu Kenpo martial arts when I need to be writing about the hula hoop workout. When they start to put the pressure on me (“Well, if you want to really learn about indoor rock climbing, you should come to our twelve week beginner class”) I want to scream, “It’s just a 500 word article; I’m not writing a damn book about it!”

I might actually need to use that line later today. There’s no way I’m becoming a Cajun Zydeco dancer.