Speaking the Same Language

Frank and I took a love test. He says that we won. So we must be in love pretty good.

Over Christmas I heard about The Five Love Languages from my mother-in-law, Joanne, and Laura, my future sister-in-law. Basically, there are five ways of showing/receiving love and everybody differs in which language they prefer:

1. Words of Affirmation: “I love you” “I think you’re pretty”
2. Quality Time:'"I like hanging out with you."
3. Receiving Gifts: “I got this for you.”
4. Acts of Service: “I cleaned the bathroom because I love you.”
5. Physical Touch: "I can't keep my hands off you."


Joanne explained that she ranked high on quality time while her husband, Frank, prefers physical touch. Laura is big on physical touch while David (Frank’s bro) likes…I can’t remember which language he speaks but it was something besides physical touch.

So there’s this test you can take to see where you fall. Since Frank’s dad is a counselor he had plenty of copies available and we were eager to take the test. I thought for sure I would like Acts of Service because I love it when Frank does chores around the house (especially when he actually finishes them ).

Joanne told me before we took the test that it’s not necessarily better to have the same preferences. It’s just good to know where you stand so you can understand the person.

We took the test. At the end we tallied our results and it prioritizes the languages. We had the EXACT same preferences in this order:

1. Quality Time: we like hanging out together the most
2. Words of Affirmation: we like to tell each other how pretty we are
3. Physical Touch: Sometimes we hold hands but not all the time
4. Acts of Service: Apparently I didn’t care all that much if Frank did chores around the house; and he didn’t care if I did either.
5. Receiving Gifts: Big surprise that a couple of cheapskates ranked this last


Frank was thrilled that we had the same results: “We won!” he said.
“That’s not necessarily better,” I told him and explained what his mom had said. “But how cool that we had the same results,” he said, ignoring me. While I interpreted the results to mean we like to spend time together, I think he saw that he doesn’t have to do any chores or buy me gifts.

Now is that speaking the same language?

“I have to remember to tell Laura and your mom that we took the test,” I said to him later.

Frank had to add, “And be sure to tell them that we won!”