A-head of my Time

I’m just full of the puns this week. Betcha can’t wait to see where this one goes:

Since my pimples (yes, it’s still there and yes, I said “pimples” plural) and my retainer have come into my life, I’ve been thinking a lot about junior high. “Yes, Elsa, we know that guy said you were the ugliest girl he’d ever seen. We know you had glasses. We’ve heard all about your braces. We believe you that your hair was a disaster.”

But wait…there’s more.

In addition to the aforementioned handicaps, I also made one of the worst fashion choices any child in the history of seventh grade has ever made. I’m not talking about NKOTB paraphernalia; I’m not referring to Skidz. Mine was an accessory and it wasn’t even cool at the time.

I wore a watch barrette.

What is a watch barrette? It’s just what it sounds like. It’s a hair clip that looks like a wrist watch except it doesn’t actually tell time. I bought one for my friend as a birthday present and then begged my mom to let me get one for myself. I thought my friend and I could wear matching ones. This plan would have worked except she realized the horror that was the watch barrette and never wore it.

I did the opposite.

I wore the watch barrette not occasionally, not every Tuesday but every single day for my entire seventh grade year.

I was "that girl with the watch barrette."

This really cute guy on the school bus sat behind me and one day I felt him touching my head. Had he finally seen through my braces, glasses and bad perm and realized that I was a junior high hottie? Was this my “She’s the One” moment? Was he my Freddie Prinze, Jr.?

“I just wanted to see what time it was,” he said and then laughed.

Did that stop me? No, I continued to clip that time-piece into my hair every day. Oh, and did I mention that I wore it on top of my head? And that it was blue?

One time at the bus stop (a lot of drama happened around the school bus) I said to the other kids, “I overslept and I barely had time to get ready.”

This guy goes, “What do you have to do to get ready? All you do is get up and put that watch barrette in your hair.”

And this from a guy whose catch phrase was “Well isn’t that special?” (long after we were all tired of it).

I guess I eventually stopped wearing the watch barrette but not before my school picture. (Yep, it was in there.) And if I ever run into that guy on the bus who mocked my hair accessory, well, I won’t even give him the time of day—even if it’s right there on my head.