Monday Musings

I think the holiday tunes on the light music station must be getting to Frank because he has not been himself lately:

He agreed to go to the mall with me yesterday.

After I expressed buyer’s remorse he said, “So what? It’s Christmas!”

He opened my car door for me.

He bought a trendy shirt:

Just in case he was an imposter, I tested him: “Hey, I need to catch up on my Gilmore Girls. Wanna watch it with me?”

“No way!” he said.

Schwoo. He’s back.

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I’m de-sugaring today after a weekend of cookies, cake, more cake and more cookies. And I’m not even going to mention the wine, beer and Mambo Taxis. I guess I just did. I better de-sugar for two days. On de-sugar days I can’t have any dessert which for me is a big deal. Like I should get one of those “days of sobriety pins” like Lindsay Lohan wears. Do they make those in half-day increments?

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After our shopping spree yesterday, we are done with our Christmas shopping. We wrapped the rest of the presents in newspaper and put them under the tree. Frank said, “I don’t remember having presents under the tree last year.” I said, “That’s because I didn’t wrap them until right before we left for Houston. I was really off the ball last year.” Then I thought, “Why don’t we ever say ‘off the ball?’ We only say ‘on the ball.’”

What other sayings don’t have an opposite?

“I was totally calm like a chicken with his head still adhered to his body.”

Or

“I just closed that can of worms.”

Or

“You can eat your cake and you can have it and you can eat two more pieces.” I’m not sure that’s the opposite but I like it!

Darn the de-sugar day! I’m getting the shakes already.