But I didn’t ever say thanks to the big man and look what he’s stuck me with now:
Look at it! It rivals the size of my fingernail and my big ball earring! Somebody get me the number to Guinness cause they’re gonna wanna send someone out here.
This thing is even too big to cover up with make-up. I know; I’ve tried. I would go broke if I had to use up that many bottles of cover up. I could try to camo-mole it but I think it would look more "sin-filled-witch" than Cindy Crawford. (Okay, that was a stretch with the matching "sin" sounds.)
Frank says during my spin classes I should do my famous cackle (which I developed while playing the witch in my sorority’s rendition of the Wizard of Oz).
Since I take really good care of my skin I’m pretty sure I know how this happened: cookies. That damn cookie exchange! I made three batches myself and sampled at least two dozen. Then at the cookie exchange I ate two of each kind so that’s like another dozen. And every night since then I’ve gotten into the cookies. I put the tray on top of the fridge and Frank said, “But now I can’t even see them! We’re going to forget about them!”
Exactly.
And while we’re at it, can we forget that I look like a 13-year-old on the night of the big Sadie Hawkins dance? I realize that the fact that I’m wearing a retainer doesn’t help matters. But hey, at least I have contacts and decent-smelling hair. Gotta be grateful for the little things (even though something not-so-little is sitting on my face, mocking me).
Exactly.
And while we’re at it, can we forget that I look like a 13-year-old on the night of the big Sadie Hawkins dance? I realize that the fact that I’m wearing a retainer doesn’t help matters. But hey, at least I have contacts and decent-smelling hair. Gotta be grateful for the little things (even though something not-so-little is sitting on my face, mocking me).
7 comments:
I'm starting to even doubt that it's a pimple. I'm going with spider bite. I did sleep in the woods this weekend.
Have you tried Visine on it to get the read out?
Now I know visine gets the red out of EYES...is this a sisterly practical joke? If so, my life is turning even more into junior high.
You can also try dabbing it with a little toothpaste. It should dry it out pretty quickly. Good luck!
No, visine constricts the vessels in the eye to get the red out, and it works the same way on skin. Makeup artists use it on celebs.
Laura is right, toothpaste is a great way to dry a pimple out.
Well, I've tried Oxycuting it with no luck so I'll go with toothpaste. It's so massive it may take a whole tube.
Just pop it!
No, don't. It'll last forever if you do.
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