What Happens in Cabo Stays in Cabo

Lucky for you, we weren’t in Cabo. We were in Cancun. That means it's all fair game for the blog.

Observation: when two girls travel together they get a lot of attention. Therefore Thea and I made life long friends at the GR Solaris resort. And we’re not discriminating—we hung out with guests, employees and even people from Oklahoma.

Allow me to introduce you to our new friends:

Roger and Jenn: I’ve never been to Oklahoma but I've heard the rumors: People are white trash, poor and obnoxious. Well, after meeting Roger and Jenn I have to say, the rumors are true. Rog and Jenn liked to drink, dance and talk loudly about their genitalia. Can I say that word on my family-friendly blog?

Roger and Jenn, we thank you for teaching us to have faith in stereotypes and to not bother trying to be PC about our neighbors to the north.


Federico: At first glance, Federico looked like the resident hottie employee of the GR Solaris. But then he opened his mouth. He decided to join Thea and me while we sat eating our lunch at the buffet one day. Instead of making small talk he launched into a monologue about his childhood, his parents, his life in Cancun.

Federico, we’re glad your parents reconciled and that your apartment is not so messy anymore but I just came here to eat guacamole with a spoon and drink queso. Can I go get thirds now?


Bucky and the NJ boys: You know these guys. They come in a big group and make friends with people like Roger and Jenn. Dislikes? Shirts and sobriety. Likes? Many tattoos and wrist bands that go up their arms (this is a badge of honor representing how many cheesy Cancun clubs they've hit.) They make comments like, “I don’t remember Thursday or Friday. I sort of remember Saturday but not this morning.” Bucky is their leader and he took a liking to Thea. He wanted to be her instant Cancun boyfriend. Now there's an oxymoron.

Bucky, we know that’s not your name but it should be (see pic below.)


Perfecto: Now this is his real name and it fits him, well, perfectly. He brought us drinks by the pool. I bet he never gets tired of guests yelling “Perfecto!!” every time he brings them those high-calorie, weak drinks. NJ boys say he only makes $16 per day. Hey, that’s more than I make on this blog.

Perfecto, thank you for making us “Tickets to Fly” and for bringing them so promptly. You are muy perfecto!

Oh, I'm getting that Oscar-speech panic. I have so many more people to thank but not enough time: Ramón with the mohawk, Carla the curly-haired entertainer who competed with me on the treadmill (good try, Carla, but you could pick up the pace a little), Luis the waiter who raised his eyebrows at us at breakfast (I couldn't return the look, see last week's blog), Lupe and Sylvia for singing "Now I had the time of my life" every night in the lobby bar and Henry, the deli sandwich maker for creating those delicious mayonnaise sandwiches. Hey, you try drinking a dozen "Tickets to Fly" from Perfecto and see what weird foods you crave.

But now it's over. It's back to the real world. A world where you have to pay for drinks, you don't eat every two hours and a day's work involves more than rubbing on SPF 30. And as for our life long friends? Well there's talks of a Cancun reunion Spring Break time. Thanks, guys. But I think we're gonna try Cabo.




Federico: He looks cute but don't let him talk.

Roger: We didn't dare tell him we root for Texas.





Jenn: Just like Federico--if she would just keep her mouth shut!



Come on, you would have called him Bucky too, right?