I don’t care if I win HGTV’s Dream Home in Winter Park, Colorado this year. It’s in a snowy place where you have to like snowy sports. I bet you even have to get on a ski lift to go anywhere. What a nightmare. And the house isn’t all that great. I mean, it doesn’t even have a project room like last year’s home did. I probably won’t even enter.
Don’t tell HGTV but this is all an act! Did you buy it? I totally want to win this dream home almost as badly as I wanted to win last year’s dream home! Frank asked me, “What if you HAD to learn how to ski to win this home? Would you do it?” (This is similar to when he asks me “What if you had to watch the movie Dune every day?” to which my answer is always, “No way! I don’t care if I’d get millions of dollars. I will not watch Dune!”) But to the question about skiing I exclaimed, “Of course I would ski! I’d ski the blues, blacks, purples, double purples! I don’t care! I want that dream home! And the fact that it doesn’t have a project room? Even better! I hate projects!!”
Don’t tell HGTV but this is all an act! Did you buy it? I totally want to win this dream home almost as badly as I wanted to win last year’s dream home! Frank asked me, “What if you HAD to learn how to ski to win this home? Would you do it?” (This is similar to when he asks me “What if you had to watch the movie Dune every day?” to which my answer is always, “No way! I don’t care if I’d get millions of dollars. I will not watch Dune!”) But to the question about skiing I exclaimed, “Of course I would ski! I’d ski the blues, blacks, purples, double purples! I don’t care! I want that dream home! And the fact that it doesn’t have a project room? Even better! I hate projects!!”
But my new strategy is to act like I don’t care. And by acting like I don’t care and not entering every single day, I think I have a better chance at winning. The three finalists last year had barely heard of the dream home. They were all, “What? Is this for that contest I entered with the 4H club? Did I win the hog?”
And don’t worry; you are all definitely invited to my winter dream home because I know I’m going to win this year! I can just feel it!
I mean, I don’t care if I win. I probably won’t even enter. I’ll be too busy watching Dune.
2 comments:
Remember last year when we decided it was a conspiracy... not just ANYONE can win these dream houses. They go find the people who have troubles... who have lost someone or have huge families or disabilities and they get the house. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just basically like Extreme Makeover Home Edition except the house is already built and it 100 times sweeter than any house they can build in a week. PLUS, you know they ask you for your date of birth, I'll bet you have to be at least 50 to win one of these. I'll be pulling for you to NOT win though... because I know you don't care very much, in the least, at all. :)
And since I don't care about this house or if I win it won't help to mention that I'm a poor struggling writer who can't even afford her own chair; I have to sit on ball!
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