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Monday, April 28, 2008

Signs of Labor

If having a lot of energy and wanting to clean your house means that you’re about to go into labor, then I’ve been about to go into labor for the last nine months…or nine years.

The other day, though, for the first time, I felt extremely tired. Like crazy sleepy. Like boring-work-meeting-can’t-keep-my-eyes-open fatigued.

I thought, “This is strange. I wonder if this could be a sign of labor.”

I typed into Google: Extreme Fatigue + Sign of Labor and all these results came up, saying it was indeed a sign of labor. There were stories of women who, instead of having a burst of energy, got really sleepy and whaddya know? Hours later their babies popped out.

Well that was Friday and I’m still not in labor.

But since then I’ve looked up other “symptoms.”

--Craving for graham crackers + sign of labor
--Pain in the right inner thigh + sign of labor
--Hysterical laughing + sign of labor
--Baby moving a lot + sign of labor
--Baby not moving + sign of labor

All signs. So I’ve decided that you could basically type in anything + sign of labor and somebody out there will have a story about it.

That's because women have decided that whatever they did the day they went into labor is what caused their labor:

“I watched an old episode of King of Queens and I went into labor during the ending credits. I guess Kevin James makes people go into labor!”

“I remember I went to get the mail and I had my first contraction. My son was born four hours later. That means the postal service brings on labor!”

“I was sleeping and I went into labor!”

“I was unloading the dishwasher…”

“I was picking my nose…”

Here’s hoping “I was writing my blog…” works for me.

2 comments:

Liz said...

And by boring-work-meeting-can't-keep-my-eyes-open you mean..... "sleepy tool meeting" sleepy. THAT is sleepy!!!

Writinggal said...

That is exactly what I was thinking! Those meetings'll knock you out.