Since I’m about to have my second 16th birthday minus two, I thought I’d plan my own Sweet 16 party based on things I’ve learned from MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16.” Here is the schedule of events:
Three weeks before the party: Invitations go out! My friends and I will personally hand them out at school so that those who aren’t invited will feel like losers. In fact, I think I’ll pretend to give one to a nerd and then quickly retract it. Mwhahahahaha!
Two weeks before the party: My mom and I will go shopping for a dress. I’ll get pissed at her because I can’t find anything decent in this town and she won’t take me to Paris. I’ll cuss her out in the dressing room and she’ll end up buying me three dresses, each of which cost more than her first car. Speaking of, I wonder what kind of car Daddy’s getting me.
One week before the party: Everyone will be buzzing about my party at school. People will beg me for invitations but I’ll just laugh at them. I’ll finalize plans with mom (calling her vulgar names several times) bug dad about the car situation and start to freak out a little because dad’s not sure he can get Bow Wow to perform.
Day of the Party: Everything will go wrong. My dress won’t fit (mom’s fault for not letting me go to Paris), my party planner will do the decorations all wrong and there will be no sign of Bow Wow or a new car.
Three weeks before the party: Invitations go out! My friends and I will personally hand them out at school so that those who aren’t invited will feel like losers. In fact, I think I’ll pretend to give one to a nerd and then quickly retract it. Mwhahahahaha!
Two weeks before the party: My mom and I will go shopping for a dress. I’ll get pissed at her because I can’t find anything decent in this town and she won’t take me to Paris. I’ll cuss her out in the dressing room and she’ll end up buying me three dresses, each of which cost more than her first car. Speaking of, I wonder what kind of car Daddy’s getting me.
One week before the party: Everyone will be buzzing about my party at school. People will beg me for invitations but I’ll just laugh at them. I’ll finalize plans with mom (calling her vulgar names several times) bug dad about the car situation and start to freak out a little because dad’s not sure he can get Bow Wow to perform.
Day of the Party: Everything will go wrong. My dress won’t fit (mom’s fault for not letting me go to Paris), my party planner will do the decorations all wrong and there will be no sign of Bow Wow or a new car.
Night of the Party: I will enter my 300-person event in a hot air balloon, on a throne carried by several hired men or up from the ground in a wave of smoke and confetti. I haven’t decided yet. The guy I like will get mad at me, I’ll have to kick some nerds out the party and I’ll cry at least three times.
The good news? Bow Wow will show and at the end I’ll act really surprised when a new Mercedes with a bow drives up. I might even thank my dad. (But not mom. I’ll still be pissed at her.)
Happy Birthday to Me!!
5 comments:
Cute, hope you have a lot of fun surprises for your birthday, the big 3-0!!
You forgot about how you will perform your talent during the party, bellydancing, hip-hop dance (while your pants fall down)!
All to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, and realize how "hot" you are, and that he doesn't get to drive your new Mercedes!
Phew, then I have nothing to worry about. You'll fit right in here.
I will actually be onstage showing off my singing talent at my birthday party. It'll be a duet with Rob L. No, you've never heard of him but he's going to be HUGE and all my friends know the words to his songs because MTV provided free CDs to memorize 3 weeks prior. Oh, and after that, I'll get 2 cars! A convertible and then an SUV for rainy days. Can't wait!
Who am I kidding? I can't compete with these girls. I just splurged on a birthday top from Kohl's. $4.80, baby.
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