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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

You may be lowbrow. But I'm nobrow.

Maybe you've noticed. I don't have eyebrows. My mom and my sister don't have them either but they've figured out a way to color them in and make them look natural. I'm not so lucky. In the seventh grade they tried to show me how to do it myself. It looked weird--like two patches of dirt on my forehead.

In my seventh grade yearbook this girl wrote (and I have it right here so this is a direct quote), "Elsa, you are a very weird person. Keep watching Tribes! It rules! Well, see ya later. Don't draw on your eyebrows (ha)! Love ya."

Well that was the end of my little experiment to try to look like everyone else. I sort of forgot about the issue until college. Twice it was brought to my attention that I was lacking in lower forehead hair:

1. I was out with a girlfriend and we were having a few Adult Beverages. She said, "Hey, I never noticed before...but you don't have any eyebrows." After a few more AB's I didn't really care. Later, we called the UT designated driver hotline (see, parents? I was responsible!) and I yelled into the phone, "Come quick! I don't have any eyebrows!" Their response time was unprecedented. I think they thought I was involved in some sort of terrible fire.

2. My first date with Frank: We ran into some friends of his and Frank later told me that one pulled him aside and said, "Hey, man. She's cute. But she doesn't have any eyebrows." Luckily, this friend's opinion didn't mean too much to Frank. Plus Frank is oblivious as long as the girl has blonde hair.

Do you know what life is like without eyebrows? When girls talk about going to get their eyebrows waxed, I can't relate! And tweezers? Never needed 'em. Wouldn't even know what to do with 'em. Can I make a menacing face? Nah. Can I look really surprised? Not really. And if I get sunburned, people are apt to start singing, "Santa Claus is coming to town."

Last night Frank and I were having our weekly post Laguna Beach recap (I'm not ashamed). He was saying how he thought Taylor was so cute and I said, "There's something weird about her. I can't put my finger on it." And he said, "Really? Because I think she kind of looks like you." Then I realized what it was. The chick was eyebrowless too! And I thought she looked weird! That means I look weird too but I'm so used to it I don't notice.

So today I have a plan. I'm going to Clinique and I'm going to have them show me how to properly draw on my eyebrows. I'll let you know how it goes. If it doesn't work out I'll just go back to being no-eyebrows-girl. And when people ask what happened, I'll tell them there was a terrible fire and I don't wanna talk about it.

6 comments:

ReadBecca said...

There are lots of options for eyebrow enhancement these days. Pencils, powders, gels. They even have stencils now! Stencils! If you don't like what the Clinique lady does, keep looking. There's a brow look out there for you, I promise.

Anonymous said...

I remember in Musical Theater (first class of the day) you would put them on, then we would head to Riley's. Let's hope Clinique can help your nobrow problem.
(And who wrote that comment in your yearbook?)

Anonymous said...

no way Frank, Kristin is hotter. LC isn't far behind.

Writinggal said...

Just got back from Clinique. The girl in the lab coat--also browless--gave me the best solution. It's this blonde eyebrow pencil and it worked great. I was all ready to buy it (plus some eyelash primer so I could qualify for the gift) and they were out! There is a conspiracy against me and my eyebrows.

Writinggal said...

GFD, are you my mother-in-law? Thanks for the advice. GFGDIL (Granny's favorite Granddaughter-in-law).

pansyjoan said...

Great story about eyebrows. Mine are wispy, just started using taupe eyeliner for an eyebrow pencil. Seems to work. Wanted to tell you that you can stop those stupid spam comments by going into your profile and selecting [option-forget what called] so that commentors have to type in letters. It's just a click in your profile & these automatic spammers can't do that.