Where's Heather?

Being a substitute in a group exercise class is WAY different than being a sub in a regular classroom. When you're a school sub, the kids are happy because they know they don't have to do as much work. They might even get to watch a movie. Sure, they might switch names and ridicule you but the fact is, they are glad to see you.

When I sub an exercise class, especially one that is usually taught by a popular instructor, I am greeted with an angry mob. "Where's Heather?" members used to say back when I started teaching in the mid 21st century. And it wasn't like, "Where's Heather?" with an upbeat, curious tone. It was like, "Where the hell is Heather? What have you done with her? Why aren't you Heather? Nobody can possibly teach this class but Heather!"

I used to say, "I don't know where Heather is. I'm Elsa. Today you have Elsa. And we are going to have fun and work hard. Now get on your effing spin bike before I run over you with this one." Okay, maybe I didn't say that last sentence. But I thought it.

Then I would have to work to win them over. I usually could make them forget about Heather within the first 15 minutes. I know because you can just tell from their faces if they're into it or not. And at the end of the class, some of them would come up and make a point to say they liked it. They would seriously be surprised like their minds were blown that anyone else besides Heather can teach spin. Still, there were always some who felt like they would be cheating on Heather if they enjoyed another spin class. Or if I did things a little bit different from Heather (which I probably did because, as I informed them at the beginning, I was not Heather), they just can't accept it.

There's a Heather at every gym. I'll call our current Heather "Tracy." If possible, I think Tracy is more popular at this gym than Heather was at the other one. The first time I subbed for Tracy I hadn't met her yet.  I heard warnings from other instructors, "Good luck. That's a tough crowd." One instructor told me she refused to even sub her classes anymore because the people were so hard to please. Then I heard things from members: "Tracy is so awesome! Tracy is the best! Oh, we just love Tracy!"

So when I showed up to sub: "Where's Tracy?" they asked, giving me the evil eye. I gave them the same response I gave for Heather's absence and one girl said, "I figured she wasn't here. If Tracy was here there would be a line out the door right now."

Then there was all this chatter about Tracy and where she was and most people knew because they're BFFs with her in real life or just on Facebook. "Oh, Tracy had so much fun last night! That's why she's not here today. Tracy is so crazy!" I think maybe there were some tears that she wasn't there. One guy, in particular, was obviously a Tracy devotee and he asked, "Are we going to burn 700 calories like we do in Tracy's class?"

"I guess that's up to you," I told him.

He was totally checked out during class, checking his phone, not doing the stretches, leaving every few minutes to do I-don't-know-what (take a call? get water? pray for Tracy's safe return?) He definitely did not burn 700 calories that day. Maybe 70.

Finally, I had the great honor of meeting Tracy. I knew immediately why everyone loves her.

She's totally hot.

Sure, she's a great, super peppy instructor but let's be honest, that's not why people (especially the men like Mr. 700 Calories) are clamoring for a bike in her class.

But good news: After I subbed for Tracy that one time, she asked if I could fill in for her again. "You got good feedback," she said. I'm ashamed to say how thrilled I was to have won over the Tracy followers.

So I subbed again, this time for a different day and time. At first there was only one person in the class. I asked her if the class was usually full and she said that it was.  She told me, "Most of the people in here are Tracy's friends so she probably texted them all and told them she wouldn't be here." Really?

Now I'm not sure if that's true but I DO think a lot of her regulars knew she wasn't going to be there and didn't show. Again I ask, Don't you think it's possible that SOMEBODY else can teach spin? In fact, I'll take it a step further: Don't you think it might be GOOD to take an exercise class from someone besides Tracy every now and then? Sort of change things up?

My message is this: If your regular instructor isn't there, just be glad somebody is there. Give them a chance. Give them a smile, even. If they have to teach a different format, that's okay too. Your body likes change. I know, I know. You LOVE Heather. You LOVE Tracy. But you can love Elsa too.

And as much as I hate to hear it when I sub, I secretly hope my subs are getting a good dose of "Where's Elsa?"