Abby, Abby, Abby

Dear Abby has done it again! Why do I keep reading her column? I can’t help it; I just love to read about people’s problems. What I need to do is stop reading her answers because they are SO ridiculous.

I’ve ranted about this before but where I think Abby is the most off-base is questions with the theme “How do I put this?” These people are trying to find delicate/polite/tactful ways of addressing uncomfortable situations. For instance, let’s say someone asked Dear Abby “How do I tell my co-worker “Wanda” that she has body odor without hurting her feelings?” I’m sure D.A.’s response would be, “Tell her, ‘Wanda, you may want to consider showering in the morning before coming to work because I can smell you from my cubicle which is 30 feet away. Also, make sure you are using a soap with a pleasant scent. This will help you to go further at work.”

Wanda’s gonna love hearing that. And what’s more, Wanda is so going to appreciate her co-worker’s honesty and they’ll totally stay friends.

All of Abby’s advice in this arena is fine if the person doesn’t want to remain friends with the other person. I mean, if we could all just going around saying what we thought then we wouldn’t need to write to you, would we, Abs?

I thought this rant was worth revisiting because Abby delivered a doozy recently. Here’s the letter:

DEAR ABBY: For the past 10 years or so, at bridal and baby showers I have attended, blank envelopes have been handed to guests upon arrival with instructions to self-address them. This, apparently, saves the gift recipient time having to address envelopes to the gift-givers.

I usually set the envelope aside and don't fill it out, but last week the guest of honor's mother handed me an envelope and pen and stood there until I completed the task.

After spending time and money shopping for and paying for a gift, I feel insulted having to address my own thank-you envelope!

Can you think of an appropriate response when I'm asked to participate in this insulting new party ritual? Or should I stay quiet and accept that most people are ignorant regarding good manners? -- INSULTED IN OHIO

Back to Writinggal: I totally agree with “insulted.” I think this practice is totally tacky. I mean, why don’t we just write our own thank-you notes,  have the guest of honor sign them and then take them home that day? That way the gift-receiver could save time AND a stamp! I was curious as to what Abby would say so of course I read on:

DEAR INSULTED: How about this for a response: "After spending my time shopping for a gift, and my hard-earned money to pay for it, it is insulting to be expected to address my own thank-you envelope. If she likes the gift, she can address the envelope herself. If not, she can return the gift to me."

Back to Writinggal: Really? That’s what she should say? Because that’s even ruder than the thoughts “insulted” was thinking! Guess she should have added, “I’d like to remain friends with both the hostess and the guest of honor so I need to be careful how I word this.” Because after a rant like Abby suggested, “insulted” might as well storm out the door, Diaper Genie in hand.

If I were writing the column, I would say:

Dear Insulted: How about this for a response: “Oh, that won’t be necessary. We’re good friends so she has my address.”

It’s still direct but more polite, don’t ya think? I should totally take over this column. I have a hunch it pays more than writing this blog.