Grocery Store Giggles

 

I knew I was doomed in the grocery store checkout line today when I overheard this conversation in front of me:

Annoying checker dude, talking to lady customer in front of me: So whatcha got going on this weekend?

Lady: Well, I’m going to see Train tonight.

Annoying checker dude: Oh, I know them. They sing, they sing…

Nerdy bagger girl (singing): Hey, Soul Sister

Annoying checker dude: They’re not really my forté but I guess if you’re a fan…

Nerdy bagger girl: I like Justin Bieber

Annoying checker dude: Ugh, I don’t know any of his songs but I see him everywhere.

Lady: He was just here, right?

Nerdy bagger girl: Yes, August 15th! My friend and I waited in line and blah blah blah

So this went on for awhile and I’m getting anxious because I know I’m up next and I have NO TIME for anything beyond pleasantries. I considered saying something like, “You know, I don’t mean to be rude but I really don’t have time to talk…” But instead, I went with the “I’m so shy that I just smile, nod and giggle” approach. Next time, I’ll go with my original idea.

Annoying Checker Dude, to me: So whatcha got going on this weekend?

Shy girl (me), giggling : I don’t know, nothing.

ACD: Just relaxing at home? That’s cool.

Nerdy Bagger Girl: I wish I could relax at home. I have to open the store four days in a row! But then I’m off on Wednesday because it’s my birthday. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have no earthly idea what I should do. What do you think I should do?

ACD: I don’t know. Maybe go to a movie? I don’t have TV at home so I don’t even know what movies are out. (To me), Do you know any good movies that are out?

Shy girl (me): I don’t know.

ACD: Oh, has it been that long since you’ve been to the movies?

Shy girl (me), giggling more: Yes

NBG: I just have no earthly idea what I’m gonna do. No earthly idea! It’s my 23rd birthday. I can’t have a party because I have to open the store on Thursday. 

ACD: What do YOU think she should do?

My giggling is getting real now because I start imagine to this as a Saturday Night Live sketch. Then I remembered they had a sketch similar to this about a lady who worked at Target and got into everyone’s business. And that made me start to really laugh.

Then ACD and NBG stopped talking long enough to notice me, the shy girl, hysterically laughing. Hopefully they just thought I was really nervous. You know, because of the shyness.

Anyway, it all finally wraps up with her asking me if I’ve ever heard of a place called “Wild Bill’s” (a country dancing club). She said she was considering going there for her birthday and then ACD said that he can’t go there because he gets into way too much trouble.

When NBG offered to walk me and my groceries out to my car, I let her because I figured that was when she was going to break character and tell me I was on this new hidden camera show.

I was shocked when, instead, she grilled me more about what she should do for her birthday. I found myself suggesting that she have a party on Tuesday night, since she didn’t have to get up in the morning for work on Wednesday. I have no idea why I let her suck me into that. No earthly idea.