My List

Last week I had lunch with mom's cousin Virginia and her husband, Larry. Larry is a character and when I told him I didn't drink coffee he said, "You don't drink coffee? You're on my list!"

I told him that people who do drink coffee are actually on my list. "And so are people who were born after 1980!" I told him.

"People who were born after 1980?" he asked. "Why?"

"It's just weird," I explained. "There are people who are walking around with jobs and families but they weren't born until after 1980. I can't take them seriously."

He agreed and added "people born after 1980" to his list too.

Other people on my "list?"

People who don't take back their carts or throw away trash at the movie theater (I figure they're the same people)

People who jump up at the end of the movie and don't even wait for a little bit of the credits (you can really piss me off at a movie theater).

People who have names that sound like another name. For instance, if your name is Ashlyn. Why not Ashley? Or if your name is Andela...why not Angela? Now I'm just making stuff up. I know this deserves to be on my list but I can't think of anymore examples.

Miracle Babies

Hoarders

Braggers

Ramblers

I better conclude my list before I sound like a curmudgeon (which may be on your list).

Oh, I got it. Yessica. Jellifer. Kelin. You know your names are really Jessica, Jennifer and Kevin. Who are you trying to fool?