DIY should not apply to grocery store checkout lines

When it comes to self service gas pumps, we totally have it down. We’re fast and efficient at fueling. There’s no need for full service (although I had a sorority sister who still insisted on full service and when we’d arrive at a gas station that didn’t offer it, she’d bribe one of us to do it).

So if we’re so good at pumping gas, why are we still pathetic at scanning our own groceries?

Even if you think you’re good at it, the rest of obviously aren’t. I mean, if we were, there wouldn’t be anymore “full service” checkout lanes. There would just be a bunch of “U-Scan-Its.” At most grocery stores the ratio is like 15 to 4.

Or maybe the question isn’t why are we so bad at scanning groceries but rather, why are supermarket cashiers so good at it?

For instance, I always have to turn the product over multiple times, searching for the SKU. They seem to catch the SKU no matter how they turn it.
And they know those PLU codes for produce as well as I know my multiplication tables. (I guess I should point out that I totally rock at the MTs. I was the second-grade master of this game “Around the World.”)

Yesterday my self-scanning skills were really put to the test. It ended with me telling the self-scanning employee that I’m never returning to that Kroger. It’s a long story and if I told you the whole thing, you would think I was a complete weirdo and refuse to read my blog anymore much less socialize with me. So I’ll just give you the censored version:


There was only one cashier line open. There were at least six shoppers in it. At least three of them had overflowing carts. I was in a hurry, had about twenty items. I had a choice: self-service or get in the back of the line (which was starting to snake through the store, ten people deep).

I reluctantly chose the self-service and immediately began having issues:
“Remove your last item from the bagging area.”
“Please see attendant.”


I became enraged because I felt that Kroger put me in this situation by not opening up another line. I told the self-service employee (who I had to go drag over there from another part of the store because I kept needing assistance), “When I worked at a grocery store, the rule was that if there were three customers in a line, you called for back-up. THREE! That line had like ten!”

That wasn’t a complete lie because that was our rule at Michael’s Arts and Crafts. However, I later realized that she was probably onto me. I mean, if I had ever worked at a grocery store wouldn’t I be better at scanning? It took me at least twenty minutes to finish checking out. Of course during that time there was an incident with some packaged fruit that I accidentally destroyed and a verbal/loudish complaint to the manager—all of which could have contributed to the length of my self-scanning experience. But again, I’ll spare you the details.

Just know that so dramatic was the scene that it solidified three things for me:

1. I cannot go into that Kroger anytime soon.
2, I will never have the skills to be a cashier.
3. From now on I will always go full-service at grocery stores (or bribe friends to do the self-scanning for me).