Speaking of avocados for breakfast, can we discuss how I think all of these rules we have for our first meal of the day are so silly?
My avocado breakfast is only acceptable because I toast the bread and eat the two slices separately. If I didn't toast it and put the pieces of bread together, well, that would be a sandwich. Can't eat a sandwich for breakfast; that's against the rules!
There is one way to make a sandwich breakfast-approved: add an egg to it. If you put an egg on a hamburger, it's fine to eat for breakfast.
Well, that's not completely true. Cow is not an approved breakfast meat. Only pig. You can have a ham and egg sandwich for breakfast but not turkey and egg. Ridiculous, right?
And what about breakfast-appropriate alcohol? Frank made a good point on Christmas (which partially inspired my blog). We were having a traditional Christmas breakfast of egg casserole (Mexican'd up, of course) and I can't remember what else. Frank asked if we had the fixings for mimosas. Nope. What about screwdrivers? Nope. But we did have rum.
So Frank poured Bacardi into his OJ.
Everyone kind of stared at him and then laughed in judgement. He said, "What? So if I put vodka into my orange juice it's fun and festive and if I put rum in it, I need an intervention?"
Here is a working list of what I believe are The Breakfast Rules:
Bread must be in the form of a croissant or biscuit or English muffin. If it is sliced bread then it HAS to be toasted (and called toast).
Jelly is allowed on any of the above breads as is its partner peanut butter, but not together
Vegetables can only be eaten as part of an omelette
Most fruit is okay (but apples and pears are frowned upon)
Meat should come from a pig (Although Chick Fil-a has broken some breakfast barriers on that one!)
The following alcoholic beverages are allowed but only if they are mixed with orange juice: champagne and vodka. If it's after 10am, the champagne may be mixed with cranberry juice.
If I were breakfast, I would feel used. I mean, it can't have any of the food from lunch and dinner yet lunch and dinner are allowed to have breakfast food (brunch and "breakfast for dinner.") Maybe breakfast would like to be allowed to serve salads, soup or pasta.
Yes, this is America and pasta for breakfast should be okay!
5 comments:
Didn't you regularly have a turkey and cheese sandwich for breakfast when you were in school? I guess they were okay because they were served with a plastic palm tree on the plate.
I think we usually went with ham! But since there was no egg, we were totally breaking the rules!
Correction from GM- No ham we just had turkey. You were also a fan of moatmeal[sic]and that is on the approved list
How about left over pizza for breakfast?
Let's talk about the sweet breakfast foods! Frosted donuts and pancakes covered with sugary syrup are okay, but if you give your kid a cookie or a piece of cake you're a bad parent. ;-)
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